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I assume the bank is talking about potential withholding issues upon sale of the property by a foreign person. Apply for a TIN for your spouse, that should take care of the issue.
Yes, serves the same purpose. Not sure why the bank would insist on an SSN. They may have just been using the terminology interchangeably.
If your spouse has an EAD, it shouldn’t be too hard to get an SSN. It’s been a while, but I was able to get one even when I was on an F-1 visa. You can go to your local SSA office and fill out the form. I can’t imagine there being an issue with selling a house under your circumstances, but some states require tax withholdings for nonresidents. This is not because you don’t have an SSN, but because you are not a resident in that state, whether you’re a citizen or not. I would ask the lender for the details. Good luck!