I borrowed some money from my father to buy my house. I agreed to pay him a monthly amount along with an increase every year. Along with any money received from bonuses. I’ve been able to pay monthly but haven’t been able to increase since I didn’t receive a raise last year and the general market downturn, etc. he called me a POS yesterday and was pissed since I haven’t held up to the agreement and wants his money. I’m heartbroken. I’ve found a way to pay a bit more per month but struggling.

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Wow, I’m sorry you have that kind of relationship with your father that they think it’s okay to call you that.

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Yikes. So sorry.

This is why you don’t borrow from family. When we got married first my wife and I got into a huge argument when she insisted we accept a gift/loan with generous repay terms from her rich dad. I said hell no, he respects me more and my wife appreciates not complicating family relationships.

likesmart

This is my scenario except my father isn’t rich. He gave us very generous terms and taking out a loan to pay him off would set us back right now.

In a similar boat, but haven’t been called a POS yet

likefunny

My father can be very nasty. He hasn’t called me a POS for probably 15 years so this hurt a lot. Was called this many times as a child along with other nasty things.

Unfortunately, “the borrower is slave to the lender.” If you paid him back with your regular earning minus the bonus or other additions, how long would it take to make him whole?

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The same place you got that quote from (btw, I agree and am a big fan) would probably also say go take out a mortgage from a bank and pay off your father immediately. Thanksgiving dinner with your family will taste so much better when you don’t owe your father money.

likefunny

(1) Get a 2nd or 3rd job to make extra cash to pay your dad back as fast as possible;
(2) do you have a monthly budget? Are you abiding by your monthly budget? Are you eating out instead of living on a tight budget and putting the money saved to your debt with your dad? Are you satisfied that you’ve made as many sacrifices as possible to pay that cash back as soon as possible?;
(3) do you have any other debt that you are paying at the same time you are trying to pay back your dad?

likehelpful

Oh, my bad. I thought you were looking for solutions to pay him back…not venting.

likehelpful

Can you attempt a HELOC and pay your dad back? Better to piss off the bank than family :)

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Damn, hope you’ve told your Dad all of this

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If he feels this way… why did he lend you the money? It’s not like a nephew uncles type of relationship. Sorry for the tough times.

I again get that, but if that was ever really a concern he shouldn’t have lent it. Otherwise it just looks predatory was trying to make some quick interest off of you. So sorry for his response.

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Wow, I’m sorry OP. Have you tried talking to him and explaining? Kind of harsh given you are still making monthly payments and paying out bonuses.

My father all of a sudden is very angry about this whole situation. I’ve tried talking to him but I’m struggling to make ends meet and makes this very difficult.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Is it possible he's having financial struggles of his own right now? Would it be possible to take out a loan of some sort to pay him back and you can make payments to the lender instead?

Just take out a personal loan and pay him in full then you wont have this much of a headache

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