I feel that in order to level up you need to be accepted by the 'inner circle'. I'm not so good as 'playing the game' when it comes to 'banter' in order to please people...is being the best at my role not enough?

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I personally believe you need both soft and hard skills to be the best in your role, particularly as you move up the company. That doesn't mean 'playing the game' but it does speak to how you show up to others, your ability to influence and collaborate with stakeholders etc. Presence doesn't have to be the biggest kiss ass in the room, I'd hope leadership were smarter than that.

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Simple then. Stroke that ego. Worked for me. Make your manager see them self in you and you’ve won.

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No, being best at your role is not enough, unless you're some kind of world leading PhD AI engineering/algorithm expert who headlines conferences and has job offers waiting on deck 24/7, or a similar top 1% of the 1%. If you're just the best program manager among the 5-6 you see most often, that won't cut it. You need job performance plus marketing to get ahead.

Think of it like consumer products. Being (allegedly) the best isn't good enough. You need marketing and good word of mouth.

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You're right. The world does not lack favoritism, bias, etc. Definitely not a good thing (I'm a double minority here, so I feel this personally), and such favoritism/bias wouldnt exist in a perfecf world, but their existence is a fact that we have to live with in our current, imperfect world.

All business/growth is really a people business. You have to be able to play the people game. It doesn’t mean being disingenuous but rather learning to communicate, influence, vocalize what you want, and build partnerships. I could be wrong but I don’t think many structures support those who just work with their head down and don’t self promote or engage. At least not in a timely manner.

I think a great way to start is networking and participating outside of your role and comfort zone. Sign up for coffee ninja, search for people who are doing things that are interesting to you, ask questions. If you have a goal of promotion or a 5 year plan, set up time with your manager or directors and share it. Ask their advice on how to reach it and feedback on how you can improve. Listen to what people are trying to accomplish and see how you can be of assistance and add to your own personal brand.

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