I know it’s something all managers face at some point, but I feel like as a Black woman, I get pushback and disrespect from my subordinates. I feel like I don’t get the respect my male counterparts would get. It’s annoying and frustrating and has me in the edge sometimes, actually feeling slighted. How do you all manage situations like this and control your emotions?

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My female boss feels this way as well & I see it happen. Thankfully not from all of the team, but it especially comes from male developers who thinks they’re smarter than management/functional folks. & certainly likely a male/female issue as well in this case.

Honestly she doesn’t push much & I thinks she should (though I know why she doesn’t - because she doesn’t want to get bad reviews from the team). I suggested she needs to bring up specific feedback during 1:1s of actionable items they need to work on. Leaving their attitude and push back out of it. Is the push back you get also connected to behavior & could be the focus of your conversations too?

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Great advice you gave! As a leader, she has to address the behavior to avoid this attitude spreading to others and to assert her presence and authority. It may be difficult but I’ve learned you have to do it.

Most of this behavior comes when they do something wrong and I am correcting them (when it comes to cooking) or when I need to push them to move faster. I take pride in what I do and I strive for consistency, so I don’t let any mistake slide. When I correct them, it’s almost as if they don’t respect what I say as if they don’t believe I know what I’m talking about. I get back talk sometimes too. And when I push them to move faster, it seems they get frustrated. People don’t want to wait 20-30 minutes for one course, so I push the pace of the kitchen. I am never rude or mean, but I get serious occasionally. I have had conversations with some of them, and will continue to if I see this behavior from someone else. It’s more so me trying to figure out how to manage letting this frustrate me or take it personal

Been in your shoes

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