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Honestly, I tell them to shut the f*ck up and if they don’t like it they can take their file somewhere else. This is usually after I politely explain every aspect of the file and they don’t listen.
I have no problem saying, you will not speak to me or my staff this way. Come get your file. I’ve never had to actually drop a case because they usually apologize and get the message but. I’m always prepared to let it go
It’s usually the staff they think they can get away with being rude to which infuriates me!
The most successful attorney I’ve ever met told his clients to shut the fuck up on a daily basis. Wouldn’t be surprised if it showed up on his bills. “Telling you to shut the fuck up…. 0.1”
Mentor
Obviously, it depends on the case, your State ethics rules, etc. but I typically will say “it appears we have a breakdown in communication at this point and if that is the case then I ethically need to withdraw from representing you. If we can get back on track then we can proceed. Otherwise, you will need to find new counsel. Once you have new counsel I am happy to fill them in on where we are at in the process and to provide your file to help with the transition.”
Then, document it and do what your State/local rules require prior to withdrawing if that doesn’t change the dynamic.
Sometimes it just isn’t a good match and I feel like I owe it to them to point that out and get them to someone who may be able to better work with them.
Some people are just jerks to everyone, though, and sometimes putting their feet to the fire like that will get them to realize you are calling their bluff and that bullying you (their own counsel!) isn’t going to get them some secret better result that they apparently think you are withholding or what have you.
All of that being said, I work in crisis types of transactions with clients as well and in those cases it’s always a fine line because most of the time they are really frustrated with the situation rather than with me specifically and I know once we get it resolved they will be back to their normal selves.
In those situations, I typically look for behaviors from them that are going so far as to interfere with the matter at hand. At that point, we have to look at other options because if the case goes south they are definitely not going to be self reflecting on what they may have contributed to the issue and the attorney is an easy target for blame. Better to find them someone else to assist than to be blame pointing later.
Very good advice. Thank you. I tend to try to differentiate if they’re just angry and upset at the legal matter or if that’s just their overall demeanor. One can be deescalated, the other is a whole other story.
If you're being disrespected consistently, you're in your right to ask about it. Tell them you don't appreciate when this/that is spoken the way it is; ask if there is any particular motive driving this kind of talk. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I’m a paralegal, but have been dealt with an attorney that said just either get them to cooperate or I’ll drop their case — so I try to keep them, by setting forth very specific instructions and if they cannot follow them, that is the attorney’s call. Often a different approach from another person will get them to back off with the attitude. Depends on the area of law also. I left bankruptcy and family law due to this because there are too many emotions involved.
Which area of law? I think it makes a difference on the advice you will receive. Sometimes emotionally charged clients are standard based on the legal problem they are dealing with.
Exactly. That’s why I said I steered away from family law and that is why I left bankruptcy after years. To many emotions that I don’t have time to deal with. Deescalating an issue is different than an outrageous client on 10 every time you speak with them.
Following.
Following.
We seriously have the most difficult client.
It has been my job to handle them.
My boss leaves it for me to handle him most of the time. But he’s seriously out of control.
Same. Apparently having a young attractive female yell and curse back at them seems to work pretty well. 🤣
After nearly 20 years in this game, I’ve gotten better at screening out the bad prospects before they become clients. That’s the first line of defense. Sure, some will slip past this initial test, but it’s crucial.
As for motions to withdraw, I usually don’t threaten them. I just file them. Our local rules do require that I first send the client a 7-day letter before filing the motion, but at that point, my mind is already made up.
Exception: If the problem is simple foot-dragging by the client, I might send a 7-day letter that says, “Do this by [insert date here], or I’ll file a motion to withdraw the next day.”
FPA1 makes a good point that sometimes clients are frustrated with their situation, and not you personally. That doesn’t mean I’ll let a client be abusive toward me or the staff. But if they’re just venting, I’ll let them blow off a little steam before politely reminding them that I’m on there side and trying to help. That’s usually sufficient to make the client realize their behavior isn’t productive.
I have a firm policy - you don’t get to abuse me or my people. I agree - threaten to walk. One guy called me up and started screaming at me. I hung up on him. He called back. Started screaming. Hung up on him. After the fourth time he realized I was hanging up on him because he was yelling at me. We calmly discussed the problem.
If a client is belligerent, I say:
Please lower your voice or please change your tone or I will end this call and we can speak when you are ready to speak respectfully.
If they do not comply, I will hang up.
I’ve only had to hang up on like 1 or 2 occasions as far as I recall. The majority of people will catch themselves, and apologize. Most of the time, their agitation is rooted in their legal problem and not in you.
I have been pretty lucky. Been a litigator close to 20 years, and no abusive behavior from my clients. One of my partners years ago learned a client was being demanding and yelling with a staff member. He did the typical: told client “knock it off, treat my staff professionally or go find another lawyer.” It worked. Client got it under control.
What I sometimes get are clients that are needy and annoying. Those folks I mostly control with caller ID and short appointments. Easy to either ignore a call that comes at an inconvenient moment, or to schedule calls for the 15 minutes you have between other calls/meetings/zooms. Client feels heard, and can calm down, but doesn’t have time to spiral.
Good intake (which I do personally) also helps.
I set my boundaries and ignore the rest.
This is new. I’m nice. I’m generous with billable and non-billable time. But, post-COVID, I’m just not interested in dealing with anyone’s mishagas. Life’s too short.
Fire the client. I’ve had some where it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. If you need to make a motion to withdraw, do it.
This is a real struggle, really. Is your client imposing something? Or forcing you to do something unethical?