I’m a FTM with a newborn, and I’ve been finding it harder lately to empathize with my husband given everything we have going on. I’m naturally calm and levelheaded, while he tends to be more anxious and, at times, a bit high-strung. In the past, this didn’t really bother me, but now that we’re parents, I sometimes feel frustrated when he reacts strongly to minor issues with the baby. It can make me second-guess how I’m handling things or start worrying more than I otherwise would. Cont—

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For example, when the baby had a heat rash, I recognized it right away, but he insisted it wasn’t, based on his past experience with younger siblings. I second-guessed myself and used the wrong treatment, which made it worse. Thankfully I course corrected it within hours, and it cleared up the next day.

A similar thing happened with feeding. He worried the baby wasn’t getting enough breast milk, so we introduced formula earlier than I wanted. Now he’s concerned the formula is causing baby to be uncomfortable and is pushing for more breastfeeding—while my supply has already dropped. Baby stools are fine and while she does fart more than she did before the formula, it’s not a cause for concern (pediatrician is not at all worried).

Another thing is baby has a hernia, doctor said it’s super common and resolves on its own, but my husband has been worried about it since we found out. I keep having to reassure him that it’s OK and that the baby is fine.

Overall, it’s exhausting. I value how involved he is, but his anxiety often makes me doubt my instincts and adds stress when I’m already sleep-deprived and adjusting to being a new mom. I’m starting to feel my patience slipping with him but I’m just tired of having new, manufactured issues thrown at me every day. I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who’s navigated something similar.

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