It hurts a lot when you mentor gives up on you.

My mentor/advisor asked that I get a new mentor at the company and basically our dynamic has changed completely. It's like fuck I am done with your drama. I don't blame him but it hurts a lot.

I feel it's a bet on my failure 😣. Better for him to disengage before it blows up. That's how I saw it.

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Sorry. But a person who makes himself unavailable like that at the sign of failure isn’t a mentor. Sounds like an immature colleague who stepped up for getting the tag of “mentor”

Your mentor will always give you advice, but especially when you’re struggling or failing. There are no fair-weather mentors.. and people who behave that way were never your mentors in the first place - the last line is a valuable lesson someone I had once thought was like a mentor taught me. Then he went awol and anyway the personal relationship with this person is gone - big deal

Hope you find better mentors!

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Oh no, that’s awful. Perhaps you can get another who is a better fit.

At my prior form the mentor role didn’t seem well defined. And I imagine some people are put in that role thinking it’s to help people through day to day admin issues, but end up being a counselor of sorts.

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Oh my gosh this hurt my heart!!! That “mentor” lacks leadership ability clearly. Sorry that this happened to you. It is difficult to produce or be successful under someone who doesn’t believe in you, so tbh it’s a good thing & I hope you get paired up with someone who will inspire you.

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Mentorship has to be voluntary to be effective and this sounds like it wasn’t working so they called that out which is helpful.

It’s always important for you to get a sense of what motivates the mentor and how to enhance that. It doesn’t have to be an agenda but do they get energy from helping people. If so make sure you share your wins etc

A mentor is not a paid therapist so if you need that find one.

It could also have nothing to do with you and it could be they don’t have capacity and are trying to learn to do less.

I think that’s rough if they didn’t provide much content?

Don’t forget your rejection syndrome and overthink may be eating away at you.

Maybe go back to them and just ask if there are any wider factors at play?

Failing that buy into the whole “let them” and leave them behind and find the right person for you - cos this person isn’t that.

It sounds like this is a formal assigned role at Bain? If so, I wouldn’t get too worked about this because it can be a fit issue or just one party being weird.

I participate in a mentorship program for an organization and lots of people sign up just to be able to say they mentor, but don’t really do much. Could be similar here.

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