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I see both sides.. But I’m more of a feminist in a way that I believe that women and men have the right to chose how they want to be in the world (stay at home parent or employed) and still be respected and paid fairly. So I believe it depends on the dynamic of the relationship, and agree with SAM1 to an extent.
The men I date insist, even when I offer, but our pay brackets are different. I still contribute to whatever potential relationship is budding, the way that I want to in the relationship.
That being said, if that’s the kind of man she wants to be in a relationship with, then hopefully she attracts that. It was good for you to speak and act on your feelings and I hope you attract someone that brings balance to your life.
The first 2 dates, the man should pay, but after that, it’s unreasonable to expect that every time you hang out. If you can keep paying, it’s bonus points. Builds a good image of status and seriousness towards me in dating, but I absolutely don’t expect it.
As a woman, I agree this isn’t fair. I do think if a guy asks you out on a first date he should pay, but from there it should go back and forth. It’s 2025 it seems archaic to expect a guy pay all the time. Sounds materialistic to me.
Agreed. I just started seeing a guy, asked him for drinks and he was dumbfounded that I was putting it on my tab. My thought: the one that asks pays.
I also developed a rule after a number of shitty first dates, that if I could tell that it was going nowhere, then I pay for myself. It developed out of thoughts like the OP occurring inside my own head, and the expectation some men have that if they buy you a drink, you’re hopping directly into bed with them.
So you expect women to pay for you?
AA makes a lot of sense.
As a man, don't date if you can't afford it.
You should focus on building your finances, dating isn't by force.
If you ask a woman out to dinner, don't ask her to split the bills. If you do, then you are her friend, nothing more.
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Totally. Never pay everytime until she is the mother of your kids!!
The woman I am dating told me that she wants to be “treated like a woman”, and she has yet to pay for anything (been on 4 dates). Does that mean she expects the guy to pay for everything all the time?
Because a relationship/marriage is a balanced partnership. While I don’t expect her to pay for dinner all the time, if I cover dinner on a date night, it would be nice if she can cover drinks afterwards or even just morning coffees on the weekends when we hang out. It’s about showing appreciation and reciprocating. I wouldn’t want a one-sided relationship and feel like being taken advantage. If she shows appreciation in other ways, then that’s fine. But I haven’t seen anything yet… tbd
All women are not like that, just the one you choose. Good to find out early and move on. Better for the both of you.
You’re getting dates? I can’t even get a text back lol
nah.
i was dating a man for 7 months, he always paid (weekend escapes included)
i need to see an effort from a man, other wise i am not attracted neither sexually nor mentally.
but of course, when he did something special/expensive, i gifted him some (expensive) presents.
for me, it works this way.
KPMG1 nope, never.
but i always make sure that
1. he invests more than me money wise
2. if he does big expense to our leasure time or a gift to me, i balance it with an expensive and very tailored gift for him
3. i control that we do not go all the time in expensive places, as i do not want for him to feel pressure. so i frequently suggest low expense activities, while he suggests something special and usually expensive to make our dates special, so i believe it resulted to be balanced well at the end
Although all the men I’ve dated earned more than me, I never expected them to pay for anything, ever. In fact I went on a first date recently and picked up the bill while he went to the bathroom. He was surprised so I’m guessing most women don’t do this
Yes If I invite to dinner I pay . If it casual meet up and a meal go dutch . Women seem to want it all , equality and men pay all .
This is why you communicate your values BEFORE the check comes. It’s not that hard
Yes , when the first women lib started .They wanted equality, so they got equality ,on their terms . NO equality mean just that. You are equal now ,no favours because you are a weak woman , who doesn't earn enough . Marriage is dangerous to a man in UK now ,safer to hire a housekeeper and pay up front for everything .