I’ve always wanted a partner who was smart and capable, but the people I’ve met who I’m drawn to on paper are always arrogant and off putting. Is there something wrong with my type of my selection criteria?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

No, but I'm general people who are smart ar either "arrogant" (some aren't, but are perceived as such), or shy.

If you do go for people who are smart, chances are they will be the arrogant, cause the shy ones won't approach you (not as often at least).

If by capable you meant in bed, well, I have no ideia how to know that beforehand

like

The type of fish you catch depends on the pond you fish in.

like

That’s what she said ^

funny

It sounds like there might be!

Judging a person’s intelligence by paper standards is like judging a person’s wealth based on what car they drive and what clothes they wear. These items are usually self selected to present wealth (or intelligence) and we all know the saying about “compensating for something”. And usually the type of people who got it and flaunt it are going to be more arrogant.

You haven’t given anything to go on really, but perhaps you can take a more nuanced approach and judge based on things less clearly correlated with perceived intelligence. At least in that case if you get fooled, the fooler is ironically smart enough to fool you, and therefore in a way your base is still covered 🙈

like

Boy, sounds like a lot of work! I get tired just interviewing interns. Best of luck to you ✌🏼

Hmmm. What do you mean by “drawn to on paper”? Like, are you vetting these dudes according to their diplomas?

like

You’d you just assume my/their gender?! /s

But nah, most people are easy to find with three pieces of data, so you can usually find their school/major/employer on LinkedIn. When I say drawn to them on paper, it’s: they’ve attended an Ivy League and/or they’re engineers/dev/bulge banks with a good amount of ambition

like

We are out there. But we don’t like to tune our own horn. Hence you probably wouldn’t know unless we were on a date or you literally looked at my resume. But I would advice against that since you really don’t want anyone who is broadcasting who they work for, or how smart they are. They are usually the arrogant ones!

You’re right. I feel like I’m relatively okay in intelligence, I look for indicators based on ability to talk at length about something they’re passionate about, their argument for philosophical hypotheticals, and willingness to continue learning and growing. I don’t usually take their employer/school as indicators at face value because one can always get those via network/money

funny

Perhaps where you are meeting them has more people that are arrogant?

Stop dating for what you see on paper.

Related Posts

What is the ballpark comp for a healthcare analyst at A&M?

like

So who else here is experiencing plummeting billable hours and exponential weight gain since this whole WFH thing started? Bought snacks for 30 days, finished in 48 hours.

likefunnysmart

I'm doing this high fat and protein breakfast routine. I eat that and then don't have to eat again until dinner

like

I went through two rounds of interviews for
a job that the posting stated $36.66 per
hour (FP&A Analyst)…the company
recruiter had told me in the initial call the
pay could be 32-36 because of the other
benefits. If I do get a job offer what range
should I try for? I was really hoping to get
around the 36-40 but now I feel like they
may try to offer lower than what was
posted. Also there was no range but the
average for this position is upper 70s-90k.
Thanks for any help!

like

Winter can be exhausting 😴❄️

Post Photo
like

Can folks share their application stats lately? Time period of applying, number of apps -> number of hr screens -> number of first round interviews -> second round interviews -> Superdays -> number of offers ? Thanks all.

like

What careers pay the best in the Uk?

like

Why is everyone leaving hsbc ?

like

Hello fishes, Wipro hr is not responding to my calls and mails as i have received LOI march 27 and gave joining date on april 27 till now they didnt sent me offer letter. So, when can i expect the offer letter from them.

Note: didnt tried to contact them from 1week as some people said you would receive it soon

So can i expect the offer letter this week?

like

Do you always feel tired? How do you have energy for anything with this amount of work.

like

What technologies can one be expected to use in the position of senior application engineer at Oracle India IDC department. Got an offer for this role with product development as the outlook, but not really get what tools would be required, can someone shed some light on this?

TIA
Oracle

like

If you are looking for exciting opportunity, Kindly share your resume to patelprachi2128@gmail.com with subject as referral code for which you want to apply.

And update the details below:
First name
Last name
Email id
Mobile number
DOB
Job id
Preferred location
Current/last employer
total exp
Have u applied in last 6 months

Post Photo
like

Can someone refer me in IBM for DevOps role

YOE-3. 6

Hey Guys,

need some help.

my DOJ & Notice period is conflicting by 5 days. None of the party agreeing to adjust.

New Employer (Oracle) mentioned that his budget will expire by May 31 so cloudn't shift the DOJ.

What should I do now ?

like

How how many days you expect to get a Laptop delvry from the day of order from the portal in Oracle?

like

Hey - anyone at Deloitte Nashville who would be willing to refer my application?

Where can I see the reviews post manager discussion?

like

Thinking of moving out of Google, which companies do Xooglers move to in Dublin?
(L5 GBO Dublin)

like

Hey guys,

This is an embarassing question to ask but every time I go on a date, guys keep pestering me how am I single and 34. I am too exhausted to answer it.

I know the stereotype is that something is wrong with us. I have days where I can't keep my chin up anymore

like

Additional Posts in Confession

As a man are you looking for an extremely successful lady that is extremely career driven and willing to do whatever it takes to make it to the next level or are you more attracted to a lady that is happy at the level she is at and takes the next step as it comes? To put things into simple terms would you rather a 9-5 lady or a 9- whenever the job is done lady? Explain why please.

like

I overslept and just woke up 🥲 oops

funnylike

Make gwap and pine tings

like

Were anyone's parents at the Jan 6 Capitol Hill riots?

funnylike

It could all be so simple

Post Photo
likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart

Cant wait until baseball disappears forever. Boring, perfomance-enhancing sus af 69inning havinazz sleeping pill of a sport; the most boringazz sport in the history of exxxistence itself. Shiets like big pharma, putting the whole of humanity to zzzzzz good god I hope god deletes baseball even tho I dun believe god exists but truth is the real thing that shouldn't exist is baseball fuk

likefunnyuplifting

Atib do you wanna go to the holiday party with me?

Let’s see how many ppl like this, then he’ll have to consider.

likeupliftingsmarthelpfulfunny

I find one of my clients breathtakingly gorgeous. I'm married so would never act on it, but it's noticeable enough to impact my behavior. I.e. this person doesn't have a ton of budget to spend with me, but I find myself going out of my way to help them because just wow

likefunnysmart

Anyone else here just chooses not to eat when too lazy to cook? 😅

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

My morning coffee is the most comforting thing in my life this past year. It’s 2pm on a Friday and tomorrow’s coffee is the only thing I’m looking forward to.

likehelpful

I have a serious concern. I am a 23 year old male and still suffer from bedwetting issues and I am just done with this at this point. Does anyone know why this happens or the cause of it? Appreciated

like

So this dude asked me late last night if I wanted to call him and said he needed someone to talk to while working late..told me to let him know if I had a guy over then he’ll talk to someone else. I didn’t have a guy over and not that kind of person so why assume that? It pisses me off.

funnylike

I purchased this body massager only because it was on sale. But now I really like it for pre and post workout massages.

like

Had to cut a call short saying battery about to die coz I wanted to eat my vada pav in peace. 🥴

likefunny

Sometimes when my spouse snores i’l flick them real hard and they will wake up panicked and I’ll say “ are you okay? It was just a dream a bad dream...shhh just sleep” and then they will calm down and fall back asleep with less of a snore 🥴

funnylike

This creepy that I have in the office!! Talking to himself wth!!

like

I cannot help but slightly look down on people who obsess over Marvel series like Avengers. Twilight series was more entertaining than those.

likefunny

I think I may have made a huge mistake today. My skip level director sent out an email about something and asked us for feedback. I sent back a note and provided some. One of the things I said was that our job satisfaction might be improved if we could do more of X kind of work instead of Y kind of work that we do so much of in our group. The next thing I know, I get a ping from his EA to set up time for me to chat with him and my director tomorrow. I am getting in trouble tomorrow, right?

likefunny

I am a 34 year old female with no kids . I have PCOD and my husband has been having back problems for many years now and so we haven’t been able to have kids just because we aren’t trying enough .I am not sure if I will ever be able to have kids. Do you think as we age it’s important to have kids and does it make your life less fulfilled if you don’t ??

like

Getting over heartbreak and having a full time job is torture lol. My boyfriend and I just broke up after almost a year of being together. It was such a beautiful relationship but ultimately he just didn’t love me. I love him so much. My mind knows that I deserve reciprocal love and I’m worthy, but I feel physically ill. My body hurts, my stomach is in knots, my head hurts. How is it that I have to mend a broken heart but also meet my billable hours lmao

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal