I’ve watched partners hand plum assignments and praise to the same few “favorites” while the rest of us grind in the background. Sometimes it’s golf buddies, sometimes it’s personality, but it never feels fair. You start to wonder if skill even matters when visibility is everything. I don’t expect perfect equality, but it’s exhausting to feel invisible while others glide forward. Do you think favoritism is unavoidable or should leadership actually be accountable for distributing opportunities fairly?

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It is fair. Skills aren’t the only thing that matters. Relationships are way more important. Law firms and lawyers are social enterprises/beings. If you only worked on your drafting or taking depositions, and not networking or social skills, you failed to build an essential skillset.

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Remember: Only 10% of attorneys are in biglaw. Far fewer make equity partner. Chances are OP might not be in biglaw and being a service partner in midlaw or small law is rough.

But again, it only seems unfair to OP because they don’t agree with hard skills not being as rewarded as soft skills, and feel that their hard skills should be enough to elevate them above the associates that network better. That’s not how humans work.

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Unfortunately, you are not alone. Partners always make such judgments. Bias is unavoidable. Firms really do nothing under these circumstances. If partners are micromanaged they will walk. This is the same with in-house folks. Partners genuflect to the in house folks.

Most of the time merit is not the only consideration. I have finally made peace with the fact that even if you are really good at what you do, without a bit of luck, a bit of getting into the good books of a partner my career is not going to go anywhere. Even if that happens, that partner should have work.

I have been where you are. With clients loving the work I do. Still nothing from the partners. I would start looking for a different firm.

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Are you a woman and/or POC?

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Make more effort on the social side. It's as much part of the game as doing good work.

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It's part of business development. We are in a client facing role. That's part of our job.

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No matter how ‘objective’ or ‘scientific’ we want to be as lawyers, Karma is super real for everyone - bad or good. It takes time and goes both ways. If you keep skilled, proactive and striving for roles/work it does come usually after a shift in something (change of assigned partner, partner leaves/moves to another service department, you relocate, etc). I’ve observed this every time. If people are being unfair, THEY also get their Karma - their next role/position goes badly, their family collapses, etc. I see it time and again.

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If you have the skills/experience and just need the chance to become the go to chosen associate, this is why most people I know move.

Almost never.

Next time you are on the other end of a high stakes litigation, hope and pray those social skills kelp you. I will do my best to win. However improbable the odds. I will give you a run for your money. Then go back to my cave. That will get me all the clients in the long run. Nothing brings business like success.

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