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I’m genuinely gonna be disagreeing with everyone in the comment section here.
In my culture which is Mediterranean, I would not require money for the stay, however the person staying for so long should actually offer, at the end of the stay to compensate you and your flatmates. It is not a written rule but it sorta is.
So depending on where those people are from they might just offer to pay you guys a little thing at the end of the stay.
Also a month seems long but it’s summer so I doubt you will be in all day everyday I understand however the inconvenience, but I would personally take offense if you asked before they even arrived.
However got to admit that I would have had to tell you guys beforehand that it was a one month stay (which I wouldn’t do ever except grave emergency of some sort)
I also think that the other people in the comment section telling you that you should say that it’s hard no don’t realize that the guys pay for rent and is allowed to have visitors if he wants too 🤙
Anyway I would just advise you don’t gang up on him with the 3 other flatmates because he may feel cornered and get defensive, just have a chill discussion about it where you explain the situation!
Have a good summer mate.
@KPMG 2
I would say that it depends. If you live in NYC but your parents are middle class people flying in from Turkey or some very far away place like New Zealand I would say that a month is chill. Again I wouldn’t do it but I wouldn’t take offense if my flatmate did it. Also depend on both revenues, if the guy is broke the parents are broke, and they can never see each other maybe a month isn’t that much.
That being said, my mother and sister are coming to visit me this summer, and we planned with my flatmate to make sure we would not be here when the other would bring their family so we can enjoy the two rooms + the entire flat with our families which is quite cool.
But yeah I get what you mean.
Im the roomate. Im sorry that I didn’t inform you before. Im gonna find them a different place. You could’ve just talked to me.
It's extremely inconsiderate to omit such relevant details. The skeptical me wonders if he anticipated potential responses, including that his parents would have to find alternative lodging for their stay.
I would probably put my foot down (hard no or fair contribution), understanding that it may sour the relationship. That said, he brought this upon himself...
We thought the same thing, they swore they told us about the month stay, but the rest of us cannot recall when that ever happened. We want to say hard no, but they come this week and tickets are booked, so can’t do much there, but again don’t want two extra people treating our apartment as their own for an entire month feels like they should be contributing somehow
Not at all, I wouldn’t be pumped having two additional people living in an already too small of space for a month
Here is an update incase anyone is curious:
The conversation went about as poorly as you’d expect, it quickly got turned into us being the bad guys and it was our fault for not asking how long before hand and that we were unreasonable and rude for not being able to let them stay. I unfortunately wasn’t part of it bc of clients calls all day, but the roommate even went to get his parents involved and brought them into the conversation.
They ended up not being receptive to either option we had (we even offered for them to stay all 4 weeks but to pay $2k in rent which is a fraction of what a hotel would cost and our place is $9.5k total or so i’m not doing the math right now) and saying that they will be staying the whole time and won’t be in the main area if we are.
Unfortunately management was even less helpful. Despite there being a clause in our lease that all occupants must be approved by all tenants, the mgmt just said this is our issue and they won’t do anything. They most they said they would do is send an email to all tenants saying it is a violation of the lease, but any action we wanted to take legally or anything would be on our end.
Needless to say we’re not sure where to take it from here
Walk around the house naked. Throw a big party. Leave dirty dishes. Many ways to make them leave willingly
NYC is wild. Can’t afford a hotel? Don’t get to stay for a month (given this is a shared space). Good luck OP, what a nightmare
Omg… not at all unreasonable to ask for them to chip in. Hope they’re decent house guests
Ofcourse not. This is the least you should ask. In fact, he did not inform in advance so you even have the right to deny him.
I think the best approach is to be open. If they buy groceries it would be okay. Don't let a stay ruin your friendship, I have had a similar situation, the best way is just go with the flow. Alot of the times they will invite you guys to dinner which pays off some money already. Remember in the future you might want to visit and you want them to recognize the good care you guys have them. Another important thing is to notice the cost it is to travel abroad to visit. Just be open and enjoy.
Thankyou for the extra information. I hope everything goes well and that you are able to strengthen that relationship rather than ruin it, finding a new roommate can be very tough haha. In that case I would would just have a conversation with your roommate. He might be feeling the same regarding the situation it is just a matter of communication and staying on top of things before they explode
ask for rent $ for the month. Put your foot down. At least get something out of it. 2 extra people is absolutely crazy. Depending on where you live these people should be giving the 3 of you at LEAST $800 each.
And if it’s not $, they should be preparing 10 meals each per week. Something to make your life better
Hell no, I’d move out for the summer and ask them to cover my rent
Check your lease. Prolonged visitors may be prohibited and you can bring this to your landlord and make sure they don’t stay that long. Alternatively, you can tell them that you and the other roommates are only comfortable with having prolonged visitors for a maximum of 2 weeks or something and that their parents will have to find alternative accommodations for the remainder of their stay.
Honestly if they’re a shitty roommate and you’re all randos, and all three of y’all are on the same page that you aren’t okay with this, put your foot down and demand proper compensation or no stay/limited timeframe stay. I also highly suggest the four of y’all sit down and make a written set of rules for the stay and have everyone sign it. If they’ll spring this situation on y’all with this little notice, who knows what else they might try and get away with during the stay and feign ignorance.
Personally, in your situation I would only be comfortable with any visitors staying for 7 days maximum. Regardless of how this situation ends up working out, I think it’s important to have a discussion as a household about future rules regarding visitors and other common courtesy things. Again, put together written rules that have been mutually agreed upon and have everyone sign it.
Best of luck!
In my building any visitor stay over 2 weeks is prohibited as well. landlord could evict your roommate if they find out so maybe spin it that way so it seems like you are trying to protect your roommate rather than kick out the parents
Is the roommate indian
Light a buddah on fire in the living room and see if they stay 🤔
omg i’m all for family staying and stuff but that’s unreasonable are you sure they’re staying in the apartment?
yup confirmed they’re here the whole time, we don’t have a living room either bc it’s nyc so we had to flex it into a bedroom as people do, so we have our kitchen and some hallways so 6 people is going to be very packed
It’s not unreasonable at all. Just try and communicate it to ur roommate how you and your other roommates feel about it given the short notice and cramped living space. Then, at the end maybe try to ask if they would oblige to helping out with living expenses
How many bathrooms?
Go for a outing when they are at home and just disconnect the mains supply for couple of days.
Tell your owner you are out for 2-3 days.
Without electricity they themselves will leave.
Ask them… as in the parents? Yes, that’s too much. Talk to your roommate about it because he is the one that didn’t communicate the length of stay. You don’t want to make the situation with them awkward. Also consider cultural differences.
I agree. When Americans go overseas we never assume we can do American things as if they're normal. This dude needs a lesson in "when in Rome".... I hope the parenta don't assume they can use the kitchen! How ludicrous for him not to ask.
This is nuts. I’d be very unhappy, OP. just curious, which country are they coming from?
I am sure his parents must gave bought lots of savoury and sweets from India. You feel it like home and finish that up😀.
If they cook eat as much as you can , they are treating you like family ( pun intended) , you treat them same. Enjoy the best fresh and hot food out there.
Reading your updates.... At this point Id just start blaring airhorns when theyre sleeping, telling them to get out of the living room anytime theyre in there, eating ALL their food. Such an invasion of space and youre still paying the same amount of rent?? Dont be a pushover make their lives misreable.