Girlfriend has very obvious high functioning anxiety and body image issues that she admits but thinks she doesn’t need therapy or medication and that reading self-help books will help her. It’s not changing in the last several years and it’s impacting our relationship. Anyone have experience with their SO dealing with untreated anxiety? I know I can’t control her but would like to express my feelings without sending her into a spiral. For context, I’ve been in therapy for 12 months and medicated

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Kudos to you for putting in the effort! If this has been affecting your relationship for years, it may be time to consider moving on. Your heart is in the right place, but you can’t force someone to get help who isn’t ready to accept it.

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I was in your position in a prior relationship and I hung around for years doing everything I could to help with my partner’s issues and assumed things would eventually straighten out. Nothing changed, my plan backfired like A3 suggested, and I have so much regret for wasting years of my time, energy, and attention on someone who refused to get help. I probably would have rated the relationship a B/C too because the issues didn’t effect my happiness that much, but it turns out my partner was blaming me all along for how they were feeling (and the more I tried to help, the worse: the backfiring part) and eventually left me. The breakup came out of nowhere as far as I was concerned and left me devastated. Wishing you a better experience, whatever you decide!

As someone who has been her, you cannot force her to get help. I spent multiple years attempting to self regulate my emotions and only became successful after falling on my head many, many times. I am lucky to have a man as patient and kind as you to support me, but I projected a lot of things on him that were unfair to him.

However, my first question is this - does she experience these spikes in anxiety and self image issues the week before her period?

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Observe for a couple months and if it’s the week before her period, casually mention it. But A2 is right, tread VERY LIGHTLY around blaming her cycle. Focus on how you want to help her find a solution/want her to feel better. Let her decide whether it’s something to look into.

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Just don’t judge her for trying to get attention

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