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My gf always tell me she wants to breakup during her period every month
girl; was 1000% sure she was the one and I was so happy. Now, feeling like I’m missing focusing on “me”. Am I just a selfish asshole? Scared to commit? It’s not constant - but sometimes I miss my old life, and feel like she’s so on board with everything and I start to have feelings of Jesus, what if I want to go travel to Europe for a month or have a random hookup? Not that I do now, but the future just freaks me out. I believe I do still love her. I just don’t know what the hell is going on and it’s starting to consume me and I think she noticed sometimes and I have to say no I’m fine don’t worry. Anyone ever feel similar? Is this what falling out of love feels like? Ugh. I hate that I feel like this. Sorry for venting
Lol a1, nice. I’m serious though... it really gives me anxiety. I’m about to turn 27 and it sort of feels like a “quarter life crisis” as much as I hate that term.
Has anyone felt like this in their relationships? Maybe it’s the honeymoon period ending and just like living life together and I’m getting bored? I don’t know. I don’t know what to do
Tell her you want to take a solo vacation or go somewhere with family and friends.
Damn I’m at 6 years and getting dejavu of my last relationship that ended too. I was so sure she was the one I married her but then she changed and I didn’t and now she wants to move on. You deserve to be happy OP. When I first met my gf I took a solo trip because I was in a similar rut of wanting to escape but came back to her and then took her traveling with me. I am told love is patience but right now feels feels very painful. I hope you end up happy whatever you end up doing.
OP, this is one of the biggest questions people have regarding relationships and marriage, etc. Are we all bound by the same relationship patterns, no matter who we are with? How can we be for sure that someone is “the one”?, what’s the difference between settling and being realistic? I don’t want to let him/her go, but what if I find someone I’m more compatible with?
All fair questions with no easy answer. At 27, you are still learning about yourself and growing. If you aren’t sure, there isn’t anything wrong with talking to your girlfriend about your concerns (she might have similar concerns), or taking a break to see if you gain anymore clarity.
Most of the “experts” agree that if you are happy with 80%, it’s a good bet. Marriage isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, it’s a commitment to sticking together through the ups and downs, regardless of how “in love” you might feel at any given moment.
Thanks P1. That’s exactly what I’m struggling with. I can’t imagine anyone loving me more than she does, but over the last few weeks I’ve felt sort of distant and I can’t pinpoint it. I find myself critiquing her more, noticing “flaws”, getting annoyed easily. Maybe it’s something going on with me.
I remember we were on vacation around this time last year and I kind of felt like this, and then it went away. Maybe I’m depressed? For example, I don’t feel excited for little things that I always have been excited for, like getting our Christmas tree.
I also find myself missing the self focus that comes with being single - being able to go visit a friend at the last minute, etc.
You’re right, it’s so confusing. Right now it doesn’t feel 80% good — I feel 80% anxious about if I’m with the right person / if leaving would be the biggest mistake of my life
OP, can you explain some of the flaws / your annoyances? Might help pin point if they are little things or deal breakers for you.
And D1, how did she change and how was it substantial enough to warrant a divorce?
P1, they are all somewhat little things - I’m neat/tidy, she’s messy. Something that’s put a strain on things is that all of her friends have left our city and she’s not close with them anymore, and it makes me feel guilty when I hang out with the couple good friends I have left here. I keep encouraging her to join something like the Wing (sort of fancy coworking/hang out spot for women), or reach back out to the few good friends she had, but she hasn’t yet.
I’d say the biggest issue for me is that I don’t feel the “magic” anymore. Maybe the honeymoon period is just over? I miss that. I miss feeling like constantly blown away. I know that’s too much to ask for; I just feel sort of bored with it all and in a rut. For example, haven’t been as interested in sex recently
Sounds like normal things that happen when the honeymoon period comes to an end, which is usually around 18 months. Try planning a trip together and have consistent date nights to get out of the rut, and definitely talk to her about it in a gentle way. Are you less interested in sex, or not at all? If you still feel this way in 6 months, maybe re-evaluate.
I wouldn’t give up though, sounds like it was pretty amazing at the beginning, and that alone is rare.
It was incredible in the beginning was sure she was my “soul mate”, as much as I always hated that term. Now I feel more cynical about it and feel like everyone could find someone else, etc.
Regarding sex, not completely uninterested, but I found myself being less constantly turned on by her, thought about other women I saw out places, etc. Feel like shit that I thought of that recently