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Check your ego and be happy someone wants to make sure you understand.
Obviously tone is important, but I wouldn't view it that way. After I've given instructions or shown somebody how to do something I will typically ask that as a prompt for any clarifications or questions, especially if that person is inexperienced in that area or if it's a difficult concept. The key is actually meaning it. If it doesn't make sense or you have a question, I truly want you to say so.
Not always. In discussion it could be an opportunity to challenge the speaker's assumptions