My daughter is 17 and beginning to wear tight clothes and tops with a revealing neckline. Personally makes me uncomfortable and feel like it looks trashy. How do I have a conversation with her about this? I don't want to take a hard line attitude because I know once she's in college, I'll have no control and she is close to being an adult anyway. I'd like her to make better choices for herself. I'm divorced so hard to do this together with ex. Ex told me she felt uncomfortable too but trusts her

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I showed this exchange to my 18-year-old daughter and asked if she would like to weigh in. This is her typing:
As someone who dresses both more conservatively and "provocatively" (i.e. crop tops, low cut tops, mini skirts, etc), it was and still is very important for me to be able to pick and choose what I wear. To tell your daughter that she can't wear clothes that she feels comfortable in is to take away the right to make choices for her body. It's not a matter of whether or not you trust your daughter but rather you trust the world and the men where she exists with her clothing choices. Telling her she can't wear crop tops is to uphold the over-sexualization of young girl's bodies, it would be more harmful for her to hear from her father that she has to cover up but rather she should be hearing about how to accept herself and make choices that she feels comfortable in this world with

like

I took on a different approach with my 16 year old. I let her wear whatever she wanted a few times while we were out in public. Prior to heading out, I told her that I was going to point out men that were looking at her with “the look”. She was disgusted by the looks she drew. Afterward we talked about the issue. I told her that she should not be ashamed of her body and should wear whatever she is comfortable wearing. However, most men’s minds work differently than a woman’s and 90% of the time their minds are full of inappropriate thoughts. Is that the way it should be? Absolutely not. But that’s reality. She started dressing more conservatively afterward. Was my approach the right way to address the situation? Maybe, maybe not. I sure hope it was. Good luck OP.

likehelpful

As a separated father of two teenage girls, 18 and 15, I trust my daughters to not impose my sense of fashion, propriety or expectations on how they dress. I am comfortable in their ability to think and behave and act appropriately even when, at times, I have thought their clothes could be a bit more conservative. Are you overthinking the outfit? Focus on her as a whole and also acknowledge a lot of outward manifestations is also both growing up as an individual from being a child. Can you begin to trust her judgement?

likesmart

I don’t “trust the world and the men where she exists with”...that’s my point. Again, I don’t trust your daughter’s 17 year old brain either.

Your child’s views and inputs are super important, but they are one of many factors that parents have to consider in their duties of making decisions when fathering and mothering. Raising independent kids is the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean they run the show in every instance.

I would not ask an Associate to tell me what fee he thinks is right to charge for her time on a proposal—she doesn’t have the experience I do to make such decisions despite being the person who is going to do the work.

like

I think you can set some standards. Father of super young kid here, so not dealing with this. But my thought is she can wear whatever she wants when she goes to college and you’re not around.

But at the moment you can still give her advice. Persons the age of 17 routinely make poor choices and are scientifically proven to have have poor judgment so I really don’t get this “can’t you trust her that trashy clothes are a good look?” No...they just aren’t.

I’m not sure how you broach the convo, but all I can say is we have friends with a daughter the same age and when they come over and she’s got these shorts on that are so short all my spouse and I can say to each other after they leave is “I can’t believe they allow her to dress like that...”

to each their own parenting styles, some inherited and some acquired. best wishes.

Related Posts

Have a 2 year project for Romania which will be extended, what are the Pro's and Con's to move there?
Also need to decide if i need to take my wife and 5 year old kid there...
Any links and suggestions please..

Anyone know how much a full time nanny in the Austin area would cost?

like

It’s my birthday in a few minutes. 2021 has been a terrible year for me. My marriage ended. It wasn’t a bad end though. We are still close, just not romantic partners anymore. The very first dog I ever had died and I couldn’t go see her because of the quarantine. I didn’t get a promotion that I more than deserved. I don’t think I get paid well. Most of my friends moved out of the city and I’m having to meet new people at 32. I love my job but it’s incredibly stressful. I’m terribly lonely.

like

Mom went back to home country and I’ve been moping around holding back tears all day! Tell me it’s gonna be ok, I miss my mom 😭😭

likeuplifting

I am starting to question my existence in this world. I have a nice job, decent salary, i work out and eat healthy, maintain my health, read 3 to 4 books every month, dont have any personal commitments (single), in my early 30s and things cant be any better. Of course with the exception that i had a real bad break-up with my fiancé 6 months ago. And i dont have any symptoms of depression, but there are days when i just feel like what is all this for?

likehelpful

Big sister on the left is not happy she has to share the bed. 🤣🤣🤣

Post Photo
likefunny

I work in Florida where the Parental Rights law concerning gender theory and sexuality in k-3 is currently being labeled the "Don't Say Gay Bill". I find it crazy that so many of my liberal coworkers, even in the social studies department haven't even read the bill and are just buying the low wholesale. I agree that we should leave those choices up to the parents. Do you guys have similar things happening where you're at?

like

I’ve 90 min for ELA & 6 kids. I need to teach phonics, curriculum (has 0 phonics), & goals & they need freq. breaks. Admin’s making me use said curric. Any ideas?? Small groups and rotate? TIA!

Are there any mothers here who voluntarily gave primary custody to the kids father? I love my children fiercely but tbh I don’t think I’m cut out to be a single parent. Family and friends tell me I’m a great mom but at the end of the day having them on my own is exhausting and I end up just either letting them do whatever they want Bc I don’t feel strong enough to set a limit about it, or yelling at them. They’re 4 and 7 for reference. Please constructive responses only. Thank you!

like

When my parents call I don’t answer and call back 4 hours later. I tell them I’m busy but I’m just hanging out here in FB, playing ps5 or online shopping.

like

Mom of two here (21 month old and 5 month old) who is starting to consider having a third. I am in my late 30’s and my doctor just recommended I start trying at 6 months postpartum. I am thinking I want to start closer to 8-10 months postpartum but have no idea what to expect with a third. Is anyone in a similar situation? Moms or Dads of two, do you ever look back and wish you had tried for three? Moms or Dads of three, how was the transition from two to three and how much did life change?

like

Any recommendations for the best cities in Europe to visit with young kids (5, 2, 0)? Looking for a week after visiting Paris or London

like

Any Porsche consulting friends out there?

like

I'm actually happily married with a stable, normal life now, but I like lurking in the confessions bowl because I love all the messy drama.

likefunny

How much per week/month do you spend on daycare?

Okay finance gurus, I have an idea and interested in your thoughts. Might be a bad one so be gentle 🙂. I have a 2 yr old and another on the way. Need to start planning for college. I was thinking of buying a condo or 2 in lieu of saving and selling them down the line for tuition. Condos downtown are pretty inexpensive (T3) so it’s financially feasible. But is this a good idea or too risky?

like

My sister and I have recently both come to the realization that our parents guilt us into spending time with them or visiting them and the guilt causes us both to shut down. Our dad is the main offender, often reminding us how little time we have left with him, asking us why we’re leaving so soon or reminding us about all the good deeds and sacrifices made. We’ve both noticed this shift in our relationship with our parents after graduating from college and starting our own adult lives. Continued

like

Surrounding yourself with the right people can make a major impact in living the life that you want.

People who Teach, Empower, and Support you in every aspect of your life will fast-track your growth. Also, surrounding yourself with these people will give you an environment of freedom to talk about anything.

Do you have these types of people in your current relationships? If so, make sure you prioritize building on them as they are your keepers.

Post Photo

Any thoughts abt married couple ?

What role/s do your friends have that you're most envious of? Starting to do research on my next move, and would like to know what others have top of mind....

like

More Posts

My friend and I were hoping to do a quick getaway to warmer weather this weekend (we live in Maine, so we're already freezing)! Our usual getaway is a quick trip to Florida but that's obviously not happening this week. Any suggestions for an awesome warmer place on a budget?

like

Which philanthropic causes do you care most about?

like

What is your opinion of expected base salary for a Director of Global Operations Risk Management who has managers who are leads for each region (US, Latin America, Europe and Asia)?

Ps this is for a major global insurance company!

like

Let’s get this discussion going with…what are your thoughts on this op model change?

like

I’ve been offered a reporting consultant job for less than 60k and I bring 9+ years of experience to the role. They should be offering more. I don’t want to settle but I don’t want to miss an opportunity to move. Reporting consultants should start at $65k per recruiting sites. Any advice? How can I get HR/recruiters to offer more? TIA

like

Hi!! If anyone here works for Axis, how do your titles work? I’m used to trainee (0-2 YOE), underwriter (2-4), senior underwriter (4+), then avp/executive underwriter.

like

Influencer Marketing remains a black box in the business. In y’all’s opinion; Who are the key players in the influencer space?! Agencies, tech companies and private companies? I want to follow companies who are doing it big and correctly

like

MBB folks on H1-B who recently switched to FAANG - did you run into any issues with visa transfer? My transfer has been filed and I’m a bit nervous about USCIS’ perception of consultants and the current sentiment around H1-B visas.

like

How to deal with a relationship trauma? Especially when your ex has moved on.

like

I am 25 years old - have been in the ‘mortgage underwriting profession for 2.5 years. I have heard some things about getting stuck in a specific assets class and mortgages when pursuing underwriting. I wanted to see if anyone has successfully exited mortgage underwriting and if there are any exit opportunities with more growth potential in real estate or finance. Would love any input!

like

How is CITCO?

Want to join Salesforce India, have 3.5 years experience as Salesforce developer what are ways I can apply?
20 days notice period remaining
Please let me know if have some reference.

Thinking having a 24’ HD and a 28’ 4K monitor setup. Is 4K for excel not necessary? How about 28’ monitors?

like

Account managers..Do your TCV targets include everything sold at your named accounts by other sales people or only contracts sold directly by you

like

Has anyone had an interview go well, people tell you their excited to move forward with you. Then follow up and get ghosted for weeks?

like

We have been utilizing a third party asset manager. We have grown to the point where we just don’t think it makes financial sense to continue to do that and need to bring the portfolio management in-house. Have a few questions for the group:
How many models do you run?
How much time do you devote to this weekly?
What advice would you give to someone who has had total reliance on TAMPs but making a complete change to investment management style?

likehelpful

How muxh time do the HR take to release the round 2 interview results?
Is it possible to not get the mail if i havnt cleared the round?

like

Do you thank your tenants for paying the rent? A quick thank you text?

like

So you can finally show mom what you do all day.

Post Photo
likefunnysmart

I am looking for some inspiration. If you were selecting the location for an office for 100 consultants in Zone 1. Where would you choose and why?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal