My family mistreated me when I was younger, and now that I don’t live at home, they don’t call or bother to look for me, because frankly, I think they have a hard time admitting what happened - and will never apologize to me either. If I don’t call, or occasionally go see them during the holidays, we would never talk. Some of them are growing old (health-wise), and I’m scared this entire situation is just irreparable. Has anyone ever gone through anything similar? Any advice or thoughts?

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If I were you I would just move on. Stop trying to make it work and actually be happy your not stuck trying to navigate an adult relationship with toxic family members. So many people grow up to dislike family and want to cut them off or set boundaries but feel to guilty, it seems like you can easily just walk away.

If you are like wanting to build a relationship with them, which I’m not sure why you would based on the info you provided, then it will probably be largely up to you to put in the effort. I have a similar situation, not entirely as separated as yours. My family isn’t on “bad” terms but I only see my grandparents and father a handful of times a year. And everyone else like once a year for Christmas. I enjoy seeing them when i do, but there was no effort made by them when I was growing up to see me more. And now as an adult I am the one who usually plans to go see them. So it just shows me how selfish they are and I really don’t care or blame myself. I do what I can, but it is what it is. Put energy into those who truly care for you, whether it be friends, spouse, etc.

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