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Ask the recruiter to ask the employer for a deadline. Also, if they’re a good recruiter they shouldn’t push you to accept the offer they helped you get.
Mentor
Anything more than a week with no response suggests a lack of interest and could be perceived poorly. I think you have 2 options:
- Reach out to the other firm, let them know you have another offer in hand but they're your first choice (if true), and you wanted to let them know for purposes of determining next steps on their end. If they're interested, they will most likely do what they can to expedite things.
- Find something in the offer letter you'd like to negotiate and ask the recruiter to do that on your behalf. It'll buy you some more time, but just be prepared you may burn a bridge if they give you what you ask for and you still ultimately turn it down. Maybe you don't care if the other firm pulls through, but that's the only real downside I can see.