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I went through this. I went as far as negotiating my offer with the other firm and almost signing. I told my firm that I had another offer and that I wanted to stay, but needed X to feel like I could (I was looking for more mentorship and more involvement on strategy). They promised me that I would get it, and so I stayed. Nothing changed, I continued to be unhappy, and two years later, I ended up at the firm that had given me the offer to begin with. I am much happier at the new firm, but by waiting two years, my prospects for partnership are pushed back two years because most firms require senior laterals to work there two years before they’re eligible for partner. Had I left when I initially was going to, I would probably already be partner. I would make the jump.
I would also say do what you can to leave the firm you were at on good terms because they may very well welcome you back if the new opportunity doesn’t work out. That’s what I did, and I could absolutely go back if I wanted to.
You’re describing my exact situation and I’m also at a crossroads. Except my dilemma is (1) lateraling somewhere that will set me up better for an eventual in-house dream job or (2) jumping straight to in-house but maybe one rung down the in-house ladder from where I would prefer to be. If you started looking to leave, trust past you. Cold feet happen when opportunities start to materialize, but that’s exactly what you wanted to happen. You got this, king/queen.
Enthusiast
Same
Just trust your gut. You have a reason to leave in the first place. If you stay, is anything gonna change?
Then you need to figure out which factor is more important to you and for your future development.
What’s the reason for this extended timeline for promotion?
You need to put yourself and career first. If you’ve got a great opportunity, take it.