Sometimes I feel like I’m too chill and “go with the flow.” I don’t have a naturally aggressive personality. I’d like to be a little more assertive but not over the top. I’m in litigation and don’t want to be perceived as a pushover. Tips or thoughts? Thanks.

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Reasonable but firm wins the day always.

likesmart

If youd like to be more assertive then trust your instincts. Id just say that being chill can kind of be its own super power as far as disarming deponents or finding ways to get things settled if its in the best interest of your clients, etc. Find the balance of growth, while also leaning in to who you are :-)

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Life hack- changing who you are is lots of hard work and takes ages and potentially therapy.

But what if you treated work like an actor playing a role? Your character could have whatever characteristics you want them to have.

The only thing stupider than how this sounds, is how effective it is…

likesmart

I’ve had older attorneys say I seem like a pushover and question if litigation is right for me. Personally, I don’t care. It has never harmed my work or my cases, and I don’t feel the need to start a fight just to prove I can. But the perception bothers me. I can’t make people change their minds about me if they’re not open to it, but generally, people at my firm have interacted with me enough to get over it. I recently yelled back at one of the concerned partners, and now, it’s like he was never worried. It is what it is. And it does have benefits! Most clients I’ve spoken to love how calm I am when we interact, and I generally have a great relationship with opposing counsel.

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No tips. I wouldn't say that I'm a go with the flow person, but I have been told I'm too polite to be in litigation.

They didn't give any specific feedback, just said that a judge commented on it once. But it didn't appear that the comment was made in any sort of context that would indicate it was an issue.

I haven't changed my approach largely because it doesn't seem like it's an issue. I'm also not sure how I would change things. For me, being polite is more important than copying the toxic lawyer behavior that you see on TV.

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