Tell me if I’m overreacting: I work at a big firm and we have three day in requirement. My husband is having a very major surgery next Monday. After his surgery, he will stay at hospital for two to three weeks. I emailed my manager asking if I can work remotely and explained her what happened. She looped in HR immediately and HR asked me to provide proof documents to prove why my husband needs to have surgery on that day, why he needs that surgery, and why he needs to stay at hospital that long.

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I think HR is asking for too much information. There is a thing called HIPAA. A simple letter on the physician’s letterhead saying that he is scheduled for surgery, and that the recovery period is projected to be a few weeks in the hospital should be sufficient to satisfy HR. HR has no need to know the specifics of the surgery and why he needs it.

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Yeah, just…no. It’s none of HR’s GD business whatsoever, neither legally nor morally. This frustrates the hell out of me for you!

Best wishes to you and your husband during this time, and sending you all the emotional power to give them the giant middle finger once you are through this experience!!

Glad you have representation on your side- may need them soon in the future, although I hope you do not.

Don’t forget or discount EEOC, they’re super helpful with this stuff and can help a ton, even if just guidance, even if you just call and ask questions and want info!!

Go get ‘em! You’ve got this!

When I saw that email, I immediately decided that I need to leave. I know all law firms are bad but an email like this is inhumane to me. I specifically explained to management what kind of surgery it is, and because it’s too risky, we even hired a lawyer for estate documents and prepared power of attorney this week. Once the surgery is over, I’m so going to leave this shithole!

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This is egregious! You are 100% correct in being upset.

Sounds like they’re just asking for a simple doctor’s note and will approve your request. They probably have a policy to do this with everyone, as to not show discriminatory intent. Unfortunately employees take advantage of the system a lot. Especially in a big firm. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

I did read it. Thanks! Simple note “So and so is having surgery on his left shoulder, he needs this surgery to regain function, and will need such and such time in the hospital to recover and assess for complications.” Not sure why that’s a big deal.

If you are located in the US, you should probably look into FMLA. The documentation that are requesting is a normal ask whenever an employee requests FMLA, which is processed through HR. You probably don't want to hear this, but it sounds like a normal request but HR should discuss the possibility of FMLA.

To the Author, replying here because it won't let me respond to your reply. FMLA covers more than just time off and may be needed to document/justify the change in your schedule. It may be a good idea to talk to HR about intermittent FMLA which will allow you to use it as needed for appointments, etc. and not all at one time. I've talked to people before who didn't realize that FMLA isn't just taking a chunk of time all at once and that you can use it as needed over a period of time. FMLA also provides some protection for your job, just in case somebody makes a big deal about you fully working remotely instead of hybrid. It may be worth it to have the conversation with HR. Just offering a different perspective. Wishing your husband a successful surgery (if it hasn't happened already) and speedy recovery!

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