Thoughts please. Have you been promoted within the same team and now you’re the direct over peers? Have you had an issue or conflict with a peer and then find yourself as their manager? How did you handle it in a way that protects your career?

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When you enter into mgmt.., you need to wear different hats: organizational leader hat, coach, mentor, champion hat, strategic leader team motivator hat, and day-to-day tactical workflow coordinator, people administrator, legacy issue janitor, and human being hat. Dealing with conflict also requires a specific hat - know which one to use, meet people where they are, listen, learn, and try to keep the big picture perspective and an open mind. Connecting and moving things forward is the goal.

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I ran into this. My (former) peer was very difficult when we were peers and she always thought she was better/smarter than me. And in some ways, she was smarter than me. I was ready to adjust her role to allow her to tailor it to her strengths and what she likes to do but she never took to me as a manager. I tried frank conversations, I tried leading from the front, leading from behind, you name it.

Ultimately, we let her go because she became openly hostile. Sometimes it doesn’t work out.

Once she was gone, everyone else breathed a sign of relief.

But- in this same promo, I became the manager of other folks who were former peers and they were great! We worked together to shape their role to me more in line with their growth goals/career goals and I was thrilled to be able to promote them about a year/18 mos later.

Ultimately- they need to be open to the new paradigm. If they are upset about it, it rarely goes away (in my experience). They will leave or be coached out. If someone isn’t respecting your new role after several months and you’ve tried multiple things to bring them around with no success, don’t waste more time. Make a plan to move them out.

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Oddly, this is exactly spot on to my experience and what I was going to say as well.

I sat down with the previously difficult peer and we had a heart to heart to try and “reset” things going forward. I too, was also ready to realign her role but ultimately it came down to— it had nothing to do with me and was simply an attitude problem and once she was let go we were able to add someone who contributed positively and the entire team was happier.

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