Found out today my toxic manager bad mouthed me to an HR rep in a different division. This correlated with his bad management and abusive behavior. Luckily the new manager I’ll soon be working with dismissed it. Her words of wisdom “reflect on what you could have done differently, you can only control your actions”. How does that resonate for you? Have you had similar experiences?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Thanks for sharing your experience!

like

Related Posts

There’s a senior architect at my firm that’s absolutely toxic as heck but on Fridays, he becomes his alter ego. All like “Happy Friday!” and “you’re very welcome” and “hope you have a fantastic weekend!” No joke, he really is a different person.

likefunny

This partner I like and work for often gave me the most lukewarm review, very bummed

like

Is it common for a midlevel to gossip with a first year about another first year’s work? Is it common for midlevels to trash juniors amongst themselves? I think my office is hella toxic

like

This week’s topic in our staff meetings is trauma and understanding the behavior of our students. Anyone else can’t help but take it personal when students lash out? 🙋🏻‍♀️

A creative team I started working with recently has decided to ignore my every comment. They take feedback from anyone else but me, and whenever I push them to make said changes, they just pick fights and make snarky comments. Anyone have any idea why this might be?

like

I just finished a big jury trial with a senior partner (SP). There were co-parties w/separate counsel. SP mentally checked out, to the point that co-counsel was asking what SP was doing/if SP was okay. I ended up handling most everything. SP did a few parts but went rogue and did things that were offensive/risky/bad for client. It became clear that SP is not performing like SP used to and may be a liability. Do I tell someone at my firm? Don’t want to offend SP or cause drama, but I’m concerned.

like

Working for a senior who is beyond horrible. She talks to you like you’re stupid and makes it sound like you’re absolutely terrible at what you’re doing. She’s made 5 other associates cry during her 5 year career. Got someone fired and made another person quit. It’s known around the office that she can no longer have a female associate, because she talks down to females more than she does males. I came along and thought I could deal with it but she literally makes me want to not log on tomorrow.

like

How long is it sustainable to talk to someone without meeting in person due to covid? I find myself getting bored because the meeting in person is what determines whether we actually vibe.

like

I work part time for a startup for equity and am attending an event on behalf of the startup. I’ve only been here a few months and asked multiple times to have a prep meeting with my boss. He instead sent me a 15 page document outlining 40 questions I should be able to answer the day before the event.
I’m so incredibly stressed as I don’t want to show up unprepared and make myself look bad. Idk how to make light of this situation at this point

likefunny

@women in the ME, I’m moving from NYC to Dubai. Is there some things to consider for attire in a business environment or is it the same as in NA? I’m thinking about business travel to other countries like KSA 👀

like

Help needed: dressing more casual for new client. Dress shirt with jeans and sneakers. Do I go with the Allen Edmonds ($180) or Common Projects ($420)

Post Photo

I put in a lot of effort to show my client properties that fit their requirements, but they ended up working with a different agent just because they wandered across an open house. I'm so frustrated right now. Has anyone else experienced this?

like

Single black female. Late 30s, no kids. Is it better to practice in a smaller market that’s close to major cities, lots of professional opportunities, but no real single professional scene? OR be in a bigger pond/major city with more professional and networking opportunities, oversaturated with lawyers of color, more competition for professional opportunities, but bigger dating pool?

like

Just had a very uncomfortable conversation with a partner. I have some time off booked to go to my brother’s wedding (I’m the best man). We were chatting and I mentioned that my brother’s future husband is so nice and really a great guy, and we already consider him a member of our family. Partner’s tone immediately shifts and as we’re ending the call he says, “Okay, enjoy the time with your family at the civil ceremony.” Like… girl you live in California, you cannot be this backward.

like

How do you set boundaries at work?

like

Is it appropriate to give your PL a gift (MD)? It was a promotion year to SM…

like

Have you ever felt like teammates can tell you’re introverted and overstimulated by something and purposefully set those circumstances up so they can appear to shine socially in comparison to you?

likesmart

How often do you respond to emails from law students who want to learn about your firm/practice area? I get like a dozen requests right around OCI every year. Frankly I’m tired of speaking to them and answering the same boring questions, especially if I know they have a low GPA and no chance of summering at my firm, but I do feel bad saying no/ignoring them

like

How do I tell candidates I’m being asked to interview that the group is toxic and to run the other way without well… saying that.

likesmart

Anyone witness slackers who got into companies you have no idea how? Had a coworker who does jack chit at work besides chatting on Facebook yet lands at a faang company? I guess if he brings the same work ethic he will be spit out for sure. Or maybe he just had no interest in doing project work.

like

More Posts

Hey fishes, how it works like working for MNCs like Microsoft /adobe but the payroll will be with different company! Is it okay to accept such offer ???

like

Guys, can you list down your experience in working with EY, which you are missing in your previous job. Or, something good at your previous job which is missing in EY. Please comment those. It can be anything like good project, managers, WFH, benefits, flexibilities, Hi, 

I want to cancel this 200Rs Netflix membership for this month. How to change this in my card settings, I am not able to find the settings in ICICI website to cancel this. 

like

I'm thinking of leaving firm life and applying to the NY SG's office. Anyone heard anything about it (work environment, prestige, etc.)?

like

When you recruiters say at the end of a 15 min call.
“I will get back to you by the end of this week” does that really mean “your not right for this position”? Because this whole thing is a waste of time. I’ve did these calls with 3 recruiters and is yet to hear back from someone. Today would be the 4th recruiter that I’ve spoken to. Does this practice annoy you guys just as much as it does us? My dream career is to be a technical recruiter but this whole thing is discouraging.

like

I'm graduating in a few weeks, is to weird to send a holiday gift like wine or a Christmas Card along with my resume? I haven't been hearing back from the companies i have been applying to and I'm looking to stand out.

like

Hi.. Good day.

Can anyone help list out the variable pay components and bonus in Legato for claims associate?

Thanks in advance.

JPMorgan Chase

I see that Fixed Salary in JPMC is composed of Basic, HRA, LTA, other Allowance and Employer Contribution to PF.

What other Pay Benefits other than Bonus does JPMC provide seperately on top of CTC ?

like

Why do the London markets write hard-to-place risks for not a lot of premium?

like

Which style home do you prefer and why?

like

What is this PwC Activate event?

like

Hi All, a friend of mine is actively looking for job in Wealth management field. She holds 8 years of experience in the same. Any Referals for similar opening would be appreciated.

Hi Fishers,

Please DM me if anyone is looking for Java Developer role with more than 5 years experience in Mumbai location

What is the infosys bangalore location?

like

I have total 7 plus years of experience in IT industry. In that 3 years as developer and rest as Business Analyst. Nowy current profile is BA. My current CTC is 11 lpa. How much should I ask for next switch?

like

How do you all plan for retirement while in the Middle East (especially for European folks)? Did you sign up for your home country retirement plan while abroad ? (My home country offers it but at a very high cost)

likehelpful

I just received an offer to lateral into banking. How does independence affect the stocks I currently own? If I join and my stocks are on a restricted list will I have to sell them? Or will I be limited to being unable to buy more/sell any during the course of my employment.

likeuplifting

Any account managers in here for chemical sales? Want to learn more about it...

like
like

What are the rankings for top consulting firms in the human capital space? (Big 3, big 4, +++)

I'm trying to build a website for my real estate company but I've never done this before! Can anyone share some resources that will help out with the design and all?

like

Additional Posts in Micro aggressions and Bullying

Mood today is reflection. What’s the biggest challenge you have faced in your life? How did you overcome it?

like

Happy Friday!! A gentle reminder rest is productive and you are your biggest investment. If others can’t see your value then it’s time to leave them behind.

Post Photo
like

Happy Holidays to everyone! Make sure you take time to unplug and recharge. Even a 10 min nap is rest. It’s a crazy time of year.

like

Good morning Fishies!! Question of the day. What’s an experience you’ve had dealing with micro-aggressions? How did you deal with it? Do you feel like you reclaimed your power and confidence?

My hands are shaking!! I just got off a call with my toxic manager who is clearly not happy I am being poached for another division. I tried to hold firm as he attempted to 20 question me, who was it, who wants me, what division, how did they find out about me? And of course the gaslighting of “why didn’t you come to me I could have helped or made introductions”. Clearly everything is about him. How have you handled such situations? What could I have done better with my abusive manager?

like

Monday Morning rumination: unsolicited advise is criticism.

Much to reflect on with this topic. Last week I was told in a 1:1 with a new contact that I was “too direct”. After some time chewing on the conversation I was struggling to place the emotions I was feeling. Turns out I was feeling guilty and shame for being me, for taking up space. Lesson of the week: unsolicited advice is a criticism of you, a micro aggression of who you are, and being “too much”. What would you do??

Post Photo
like

What are examples of microagressions or bullying you’ve experienced in the workplace?

Welcome to a community dedicated to supporting those who deal with or wish to learn more about micro-aggressions. Did you know that 72% of folks are bullied by their managers? 36% of folks end up quitting their job because of bullying.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal