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I have always wondered why women are like this as well. We should be building each other up not tearing one another down.
I know sometimes I just assume things about someone's unspoken feelings or their actions but don't actually address it with that person. In return, that elicits big feelings that are difficult for me. I suppose it boils down to communication. I can't control what the other person does, but I can control what I do. Therefore, I try to communicate as best as I can with anything when there are times of misunderstanding or conflict. Unfortunately, support is difficult to give when communication mishaps/misunderstandings happen. I'm sorry there has been a lack of support from some professionals - hopefully on this platform, you can feel support in some way or another. Sending you good vibes that future interactions with superiors and colleagues improve.
Every time I tried to bring light to the situation and speak calmly I was seen as the aggressor.
I was previously a director for almost 4 years. Being one of a few black women in a mid-management role was difficult. Despite my best efforts to encourage, support, and mentor those under me, I frequently had the most contentious relationships with other AA women. Racism is a real thing, and unfortunately we all "learn" under this system. I agree that once misunderstandings and assumptions are resolved, these relationships can be fruitful. But both parties have to truly be willing and open to communicate without defensiveness.
Could you elaborate what you mean by becoming very vindictive? In my opinion and just a general perception of things in our community, this is one of the reasons why we get continued to be discriminated because we can't even get along. Hope this stops.