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In a similar place (don’t want to push to partner), but in my 30s...
First thing is you’re not a loser... it takes maturity and perspective to make decisions on your own terms. Live your life how you want to live it.
These days I seem to be numb to all the deliverables because they pushed me so hard that I don’t react anymore 😢🙃😊
I agree w others there are lots of things that would likely fit you that are outside of consulting and challenging yet balanced and stimulating. My mom is in leadership at a Fortune 500 and (although it can be a tough schedule now that’s she’s at the top) for most of her career it has been pretty balanced. She has also found it really rewarding and been able to make more “strategy” decisions than any consultant I’ve ever met and also learned to pour into and manage people well, as well as develop like 400 other skills. Point is - industry and all kinds of other paths can be super rewarding.
I once read something that said you hit the lottery if you actually end up in the right career/job for you before at least 10 years in. This career counselor said it takes most people 10 years to figure out what’s out there, what they like and don’t like, and develop the required skills to get into what they like. They said you’re 1/100 or maybe even more, if you’re even close to where you want to be before 30-35. So take that to heart - you should be exploring at this phase and shouldn’t have it all figured out. Don’t be scared to do informational interviews w people in professions you’re thinking about, and take a risk to try something new.
Also, unless you’re súper status or lifestyle focused, at some point the money doesn’t matter too much between jobs/career paths so long as you can live the life you want. Like I can pay my mortgage, food, for my entertainment and gym and trips, as well as savings and 401k comfortably now. Not rolling my any means but it’s enough. And $20k more (or even $100k) is not actually going to make me any happier. Those first few jobs and pay bands the increases did feel like they mattered a lot since you are bringing home less overall to cover your basics but at some level I don’t think it matters so much if you live a modest lifestyle. Realize that later in your career you’re likely to care less about arbitrary money differences and more about WLB, what you’re doing, work culture. (I do find consulting much more rat race oriented in culture, which is one reason I got out last year and this seems to be one of the things you don’t like either)
Mentor
Spot on about how happiness from money is very incremental. I remember seeing my first paycheck at a new job with a 200k base (coming from 130k) and tbh wasn’t any happier. I chased the money and it didn’t lead to anything but more anxiety and stress.
Coach
I left B4 consulting after 1.5 years to BizOps in tech. There are challenging work environments outside of consulting.
Mentor
Mainly back office transformations and cost optimization work. New role is more focused on GTM, pricing strategy, analytics, Sales & Marketing ops. I work under the CEO and basically sniff out anything he asks for while helping to drive cross-functional projects. Really just functioning as an internal consultant but I’m getting to touch all business functions and have access to all databases. Re-building complex data analysis muscle was the biggest hurdle as my role is much more quantitative vs. consulting being qualitative and process driven.
You have no idea how low the bar is in industry...
Coach
No kidding it annoys me to no end when I find out that some of my lazy, inept clients make more than I do.
OP, instead of a loser, I'd say you are among the smarter ones. No point slogging in a place where you see no future and then move only to have to take a step back in your career. You will go far the sooner you align with where you see yourself long term. Wish I was the same this early on but instead took my own sweet time
There is nothing wrong with wanting to earn more. I sure enjoy some of the finer things that more money can afford me, and I don't see anything wrong with that.
OP, I love the self awareness that’s coming through your post - wish I was that honest with myself about what I wanted or did not want do at your tenure. Wouldn’t have “slogged” for as long as I did/am.
Questions for you to consider:
How will you feel 5 years from now about this moment if you stick to the “race”? Vs. if you give yourself a chance to exit?
Do you have to completely drop out or can you find a way to explore what else lights you up in parallel?
Can you afford not to listen to the part of you that’s wanting something else?
As someone who has finally realized after over a decade that, despite enjoying many things about consulting and transformation/strategy work, learning so much along the way, while struggling with the many “shoulds” about staying in the “race”, lately I was just not fulfilled in any way, was getting constantly burnt out, had ended up doing fewer and fewer things I loved to make time to “do what I should do more of” - I couldn’t imagine this life forever.
Instead, I’m embracing my gifts around coaching and teaching to explore how I can coach and mentor women as they navigate career decisions, promotions, visibility, confidence in speaking up, and more - aka the person I wish I had in my life back then. It’s a non-traditional route for sure, but I feel more “lit up” than I’ve ever been for a few years now.
Happy to connect if helpful to chat - dm me!
Just starting to take on 1-1 clients now. I’m happy to connect and explore if it’s a fit. If it feels right, dm me!
I have technical and soft skills and I am still struggling to work at big 4. The work environment is different here. I don’t see myself putting all that effort to climb the ladder. I take my health seriously, people I see here don’t have much time to take care of their bodies!
Haha totally understand. Maybe try applying to industry jobs where you have some experience. I've always enjoyed consulting, but also made the necessary moves to get wlb and good colleagues
I tried leaving consulting once to go to a tech startup and hated the culture (yes ironically)
I'm a little over a year in and have offers from other firms to join their internal strategy and change teams. Consulting was never my end game. Also, your skills aren't soft as long as you bring value to organizations. You're. Not. A. Failure. 😊
Nothing to add except some encouragement. I’m sure you’re talented and have a ton of value to add. It’s okay to exert effort into other areas of your life that aren’t your career.
Thank you. Encouragement is still appreciated 😊💗
30-year old post-MBA, 2 years into consulting and I have the same existential crisis almost every day. I like working hard and feeling productive, and I enjoy the day-to-day but to what end when it comes at the cost of everything outside of work?
I'm planning to get out soon - take advantage of knowing what you want (or don't want) earlier in life and get out now :)
Mentor
OP that was just me laughing at the "we are the same person" comment.
I’m in the same boat. I want to exit but I feel like I have no technical skills that other firms would value.
Same. It’s very difficult to brand yourself with soft skills. I feel like every industry vacancy is some kind of engineer or technical SME.
Love the support & positivity on this post
Me too!!!!
Hey - been there. I was consulting for 14 years. Got stuck at the pre-exec level working 60+ hour weeks and seemed like I was a failure not cracking that next level. I was so use to the abuse. Left to my current role... much less hours... more pay... I had some imposter syndrome for a while until I realized, consulting is a glorified pyramid scheme. :)
spot on. pyramid scheme completely.
Subject Expert
Maybe you’ll be limiting your potential by making partner in an industry you don’t enjoy or feel passionate about.
That is such a good way to think about it. I’ve been told I have many gifts and won’t get an opportunity to make use of them if I stay stuck on this miserable hamster wheel.
Oh my god are you actually me?! This is my existential crisis literally every day 😱
Ahahaha we’re in this together 🙌🏼
Once were in consulting, we get into this bubble into thinking this is the most prestigious opportunity for us. Probably because people in this field all work so hard. It hard work doesn’t necessarily mean most effective work. There are so many great reasons to leave consulting and so many better opportunities out there. If your values align elsewhere, you will be doing yourself a service to leave!
What are your thoughts on senior project manager positions? Or scrum master?
I’ve considered it but always think of that as a hat you wear in addition to other core responsibilities
Coach
Don't feel like a failure. Consulting is not the be all, end all. Don't grind and waste your life away when you have options. That would be the failure move.
We're lucky enough to have the option to switch things up. Some people are working double jobs/shifts or stuck in dead end jobs. Most people outside of the relatively small consulting bubble don't even know what we do.
And if it makes you feel better, outside of the consulting bubble, you are far ahead of your peers. Do something that will make you happy. Don't settle for another 30-40 years of the grind until retirement.
And remember you can always boomerang back to consulting if that mental safety net gives you the safety net you need to leave.
Do not compare with them. They do not even have and may not even succeed in having kids/family/marriage. Remember this.
No shame in knowing what you don’t like and moving on that is the best place to be
Not a loser. the whole model is broken and places value on all the wrong things. if you were my kid I would be so grateful you understand that this early, before wasting your life as a cog in a wheel chasing metrics and grabbing little snippets of life, friends, family where you can. "success" as defined by America is completely wrong. define it in any way that fits you. Some of us took much longer to figure this out. Advice - don't expand expenses more than necessary, will give you max freedom. Start working in fields that allow you to leverage the soft skills - sales or marketing for a startup, work in some way that focuses on health, anxiety, depression (record level of this in US). Just ideas. don't let people who snicker and call you a loser or try to make you feel like one decide for you. they are fools.
Thank you. Your words seriously turned my day around and made me feel more comfortable about the way I feel!!!
Mentor
You’re wise beyond your years. I wish I came to terms that consulting wasn’t for me when I first started.
Coach
Yeessss! My inspiration. I'm hoping to take a sabbatical. That is the only thing holding me. But honestly don't know if I'm even going to be able to hold out for that.