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Mentor
I’d recommend reading Indra Nooyi’s book, My Life In Full. As former CEO of Pepsi-Co she tells her journey of rising up in the ranks and how she did it with family help, nanny help, etc and she talks about some of the real ups and downs of becoming a high power executive.
It takes a village, and sometimes the village includes a nanny and there’s nothing wrong with that (there is a balance of raising your child vs helping watch!). Also set boundaries with your partner— stop taking some of the burdens on yourself. Ex. You don’t HAVE to cook dinner every night. I’ve stopped cooking and tell my husband “I’m tired from work I’m not cooking” and he steps up and makes a meal for us. That took me a long time to say those words to him but wa-la it was no drama and he said “sit down and relax I got you” because that’s what good partners do and you communicate what you need.
I was a single mom and now I have a child with partner, my partner is a lot of work.. easier to do it alone.
Change companies, there are lots of places that support WLB.
They’re getting nannies. Changing the ideal that work > home life requires us to dramatically change the whole capitalist system itself. Plus with today’s economy, it’s a privilege to have enough money to get by with a job that allows you to prioritize home life.
Yes they use help, paid or family but they can't say it because society still frowns on flexibility.
We live in a capalist society LOL get used to it or move. The market does not owe you extra PTO, tolerance for tadies, call outs or excessive requests or schedule modifications.
Contrary to popular belief... the FACT is that men dominate the leadership industry is BECAUSE they are willing to sacrifice, women arn't, so ... we don't get the high paying & demanding jobs. I don't have one and I don't care, but I also don't cry about it.
& I will also say that anyone who says the men don’t sacrifice is not with a quality person, which is also your choice. There’s both less than quality people of both genders. I, on the other hand, have NEVER witnessed less than the highest of quality men in my life whom take care of both their spouse AND their children. So… in this day and age, if y’all be crying about men not being of high integrity that’s bc you chose to have one of less than standard. Not bc they don’t exist.
Coach
I think you’re right.
OP you stated you thought that mothers would find a way to change the mail ideal, do you mean as they’re raising them? I’m not understanding why this is on only mothers to do this change?
Good point ! Totally agree
I think you're oversimplifying something that is incredibly complex.
I also think you're making the mistake thinking that the micro = the macro. Your company/manager has a lack of PTO/tolerance for tardiness/etc. That does not mean that every company/manager does.
Mentor
I think this could be related to your role / company you work in, especially in a billing’s and collections role.
My company and leaders both male and female set great examples of wlb. My male boss has “3:00 Carpool” publicly on his calendar to show he’s unavailable then and I’ve never had an issue taking time off for family issues. This isn’t just my company it’s definitely becoming a standard in tech.
As for women in leadership I’ve also been surrounded by organizations that are making it their mission to raise up minorities to higher roles. Maybe you’re just not in the right orbit of seeing this change but it’s very much in my face in my ecosystem.