Anyone here feel like they were performing at a lower level after they had a kid? Can’t work from home anymore and I just feel like my mind is often not fully “there” when I’m in the office

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I quit consulting and moved to industry. Worked well for me, I can be 100% present at the office from 8-6 and 100% present every night at home knowing I won’t have unexpected client requests coming in

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I feel similar. Keep questioning why I’m traveling and sitting in a hotel room alone at night when I could be home spending time with my wife and kid.

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Agree totally. I am much better because I have a kid on every dimension. Parenting does wonders for your management skills, I’ve found. And empathy.

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From what I can tell it’s pretty normal to coast those first few years. Raising young ones is hard work and split focus doesn’t produce good results.

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Yes, your focus shifts away from work for a while and you simply aren’t as engaged as you may have been before. You will likely work for 40+ years, it’s very rare for someone to maintain it as a priority the entire time. There will always be periods where it’s simply a pay check.

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On the contrary - being a parent will force you to become better, but only if you value your family and kids as much as your work. If you were bad at time management, you will become ruthless with your time. You will become a better negotiator to balance priorities. You will become a better people manager, once you see the petty politics and squabbles of those you manage mirror those of your kids. You will better separate urgent vs important at work once you've had to rush to ER for your kid's first emergency. You will be better - in time.

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And what’d you do to shake that? My hunch is someone will say “make the kid your new motivation” but something’s off

I did industry for a while and then went back to consulting when childcare / educations expenses became too much for my 9-5 salary

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