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Ability to manage money - high
Salary - N/A.
My wife is a teacher. I could care less what she made at the time, but in getting to know her I learned that she was financially responsible. I was looking for that in a partner. I wrote a check when we got married and cleared the debts she had. We have a joint bank account and there’s no “my money” or “her money”, it’s our’s and I trust her with it. That’s what I ultimately wanted.
Relationships shouldn’t be transactional.
Transactional relationships where people keep score are horrible almost every time.
Rising Star
Men and women are going to give different responses to this question on average
Let’s distinguish between salary and ability to manage money. These aren’t mutually exclusive. Higher salary isn’t the same as being responsible with your money. The former shouldn’t matter, the latter absolutely matters.
Literally irrelevant. As long as they are okay with and are able to live within their/our means.
Pro
Completely irrelevant to me. But huge turn-off as well if someone seems to be digging for information into my situation. I don't need you to have any money, but if you need me to have for you as a prerequisite, I'm not interested. I'll give unconditionally, but only if it's not asked for or "expected".
So important. If you are not aligned on lifestyle long-term, your marriage will not succeed
F here. Financial discipline is incredibly important. I’m not going to be attracted to someone who’s in a massive debt because that shows the lack of financial responsibility. I don’t need a man to take care of me financially as I do pretty well for myself in strategy consulting, but I am not willing to contribute more than 50% to our household. I’ll lose the respect for that man real quick if I have to cover his part. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to help during hard times but this cannot be the baseline. In short, salary doesn’t matter that much as long as he picks up his part and doesn’t become a liability to me (overspend everywhere and I have to clean up that mess).
No, I wouldn’t. I’m approaching this from a DINK household perspective. If we have kids and he does the kids stuff, then I’m happy to up my %. But if not, no. Call me a dinosaur but financially, I generally expect a man to outperform me. If I end up with someone making less than me, that means I already let go of one of my wish list, so also bending down and cover his living expense, our relationship would not last.
It could not be less important.
Glad my wife didn’t care that wasn’t making crap when we met.