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Honestly I only ask for recommendations/references from work friends/ppl I had good relationships with from past jobs
You can avoid this by asking the person first whether they would give you a *positive* recommendation. If they are hesitant or don’t respond, you know your answer. No person will commit to giving a positive recommendation if you phrase it that way if they don’t believe you ought to get one
Rejection letter from internship
I’m not clear on why you are making the connection between the former employee and yourself. My first suggestion is to make sure you know how your boss views your performance.
If the issue is that you don’t like that something negative was said about your colleague, then I’d try to evaluate it under a different lens. If you’re the boss and someone asks you personally about a direct report, especially if you have a relationship with the person asking and discussing it is not prohibited by company policy, you aren’t going to give a rave review about the person if it’s false. That affects your credibility and reputation. Remember too that as a colleague or someone new to the team, you simply do not have complete info about that person’s performance. You may have known they had stuff going but you don’t have a clear view of their work. Even in the most empathetic cultures, there is a point at which if someone isn’t managing their workload with significant life events occurring then they need to take time off or a leave of absence or quit. It’s a job and the work has to get done. (For example, it’s not fair to ask their colleagues or boss to carry them indefinitely.)
I could be way off base here based on your specific situation but wanted to offer some food for thought.
This 1000%
That’s a great advice. People should be careful on who they ask to be reference!
Your boss is an Ace in the hole. Imagine what type of life he/she lives.