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Mentor
Quit. If your manager is this toxic you need to move to another role with a different manager at your same firm OR move companies all together.
Don’t have any coaches I’ve worked with but highly recommend nice girls don’t get the corner office and the first 90 days (even if you’ve been in the role awhile).
Find a new role, look to move as soon as you can if you cannot get away from your manager. Remember this is not a reflection of you and your capabilities - an unhealthy environment would suffocate the highest achiever. 6 months ago I began a new role and was immediately micromanaged. every thought and word I said was overly examined, even a simple interaction I walked away feeling like I made some sort of mistake. I was miserable, my self esteem shattered and relate very closely to what you described. It was only when I got away from this where I started finding more meaning, achieving and feeling proud of what I was doing. Find a way out as soon as you can!
I understand completely as this is the position I am currently in. I am actively seeking a new opportunity as my manager makes me feel like a complete failure every day.
Don’t let a toxic manager have that much control over you. Move on, you deserve better.
Mentor
Living with toxicity daily not only deflates your confidence, it affects your overall health. I recommend looking for a new job. Also, consider listening to Mel Robbins' podcasts, she has good ones on renewing your spirit and regaining confidence. Take care of yourself!
I’ve just given my notice due to toxic leadership. Sad it has come to this because I have a long tenure here but took all the proper steps to try to turn it around. After half a year with no change the person I gave my notice to seems puzzled as to why I’d walk away. Um, because I asked you for help and you thought I was ‘emotional’.
Person still thinks me giving notice is an emotional reaction to a bad meeting, meanwhile I’ve been completely transparent with them since July that I was looking for a job outside the company. And this is why I’ll be bringing my exceptional talent in a very niche skillset to another organization and you’ll be explaining to others why I no longer work here. I am very visible and there will be questions. My conscience is clear, I have conducted myself in an upstanding manner.
Oh helll nooo- I usually tell people to quit- but not if you have travel benefits😭
Take that control! SO proud of you for acknowledging your needs and taking initiative in pursuing what is best for you!!!
If you have a toxic manager- they need coaching- nothing you do will help them change.
Confront them or leave