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I have 3 kids, ages 2-7. At some point, there will be a last hug, last kiss, last sleep in our bed, last piggyback ride, etc. It’s hard but we all have to make the most of the time we’re given and come to terms with them getting bigger. That said, at 4, it’s probably just a phase. As it sounds like you’ve already discovered, now is a very very good time to demonstrate through action that she is in charge of her body. Ask for kiss, honor and respect her first answer, tempting as it is to sneak one I.
FWIW - My oldest daughter and little guy are super affectionate. My middle daughter usually has a no kiss on lips (for anyone, even mom) and no wet kisses (anywhere even cheek) policy in place. When I give her a hug and kiss at night, she grabs my head firmly so she can plant one in my cheek and then nods her forehead towards me for one. She’s also a fan of Eskimo/nose “kisses” (despite the terrible name) and butterfly/eyelash “kisses.” That works for me. Her bod, her rules.
Thank you for the perspective BCG. This was super helpful.
Gonna be temporary for now! She’ll come back for her dad hugs :) just keep remaining present
My 6 year old went through this phase about a year ago for several months. She's back to initiating hugs and wanting to snuggle with me.
Thank you. I will keep my fingers crossed.
I have three girls. Oldest one (13) is calm and quiet, and likes a kiss on the forehead and a bear hug. The youngest one (6) is wild and wants a big kiss on the lips. She likes to cuddle and hold hands. The middle child (10) is not happy about hugs and kisses. I usually kiss her hair at night with no hug. Sometimes I say, I really want a hug today, do you mind? Then she gives a good hug.
I think your little one will come around, in the meantime you can express your love in other ways.. be kind, give compliments, say I love you, etc.
Hope it works out!
Thank you. I told her last night that even if she doesn't hug or kiss me, its OK. And I will still love her to bits.
I have three kids as well (9,5,3) and all of them have started just saying Dad or Mom and not Daddy and Mommy. Breaks my little heart that they are growing up through those stages where you have to cherish those little things you have taken for granted.
I have a 5 year old son and an 18 month old daughter. My son wants hugs and kisses but the younger one never liked hugs or kisses. We just figured it’s the nature of the kids 🤔
My youngest son went a few months telling me and the rest of our family that he doesn’t love me at 3 years old.
I told him that I love him even if he doesn’t love me and there’s nothing he could do to change that.
We’re back to being buddies again. Total phase thing
I have read up on respecting a child's body and space. I get all of that but it still breaks my heart every time she refuses. It's been a few week now since I noticed this new thing and I just can't understand it.
Did you ask her why?
Well the more you ask the more she will refuse, she is probably using this as a power play. Try not asking for a month or more and Shankill either forget about this or come find you with a kiss 😄