Hey all, I’ve been struggling lately with misogyny - I feel my direct reports (some of them, not all of them) don’t take me seriously (only when I am super strict or when they have serious consequences; eg: having a low evaluation because they don’t complete tasks) is there any advise you can give me to make this better? If any? I notice that unfortunately being younger and a women is not an advantage to us as a leader 🥹

I am a woman and have had none of this. Quit blaming others and be accountable. If you are a manager, act like a manager. You be accountable and hold the people that work for you accountable. Communicate with your team weekly and set clear expectations. Listen to their issues and help them overcome them. If someone you manage isn’t doing their job then you aren’t doing your job. Be a support, a mentor, a guide and firm. Talk to your boss and see what you can do to improve yourself and your team. Communicate clearly. Put expectations in writing. If you have tried everything then maybe you need to replace people on your team.

Girl don’t feel too bad, unfortunately it’s not just a mysogynistic attitude these days. I’ve also experienced lack of respect, even from younger, less experienced arrogant females. It will get better, just be confident, hold people accountable, be consistent and don’t let little things slide out of convenience. Honestly… employees that don’t get along with each other and also work hard don’t last long, I’ll either manage them out or they end up leaving, I have had to fire a couple of them… it’s important to nurture a good healthy working environment and I don’t let a few or even one bad egg affect the whole bunch. The good employees will appreciate you protecting the wellness of the unit!

Agree with the previous post about brushing up on leadership skills and techniques! I’m always seeking to learn! Some good humility and hunger to learn and grown will let you where u want to be!

As a woman in a male dominated industry - I’d assume misogyny isn’t the case. There’s a lot of steps you can fix before assuming sexism, and if you’re having this issue across all of your direct reports, your gender likely isn’t the issue. Maybe read some leadership books to get a different perspective - 4DX Execution by Steven Covey is my current read and I’m loving it. I’m not sure if that’s the exact title, but if you Google it, I’m sure you can find it.

Are there other female leaders you can connect with at your corporation to advise? I did at my previous job and it was helpful and validating. I was dealing with a condescending, older male exec who angrily accused me of “telling him what to do” in a carefully formatted and clear email even though I was following directives from male execs who communicated the strategy in an all hands meeting moments before. When I calmly asked what I could do better in the future, he reread out loud what I said and realized my email was all passive language filled with please, thank you, and even a friggin happy face. Keep in mind, the men on this sales team never spoke politely in emails and often didn’t use punctuation or complete sentences.

Misogyny does exist in the workplace and women most often uphold patriarchy too. It’s really stunning to see how other women don’t believe each other and refuse to support each other even in anonymous spaces

Be careful with the misogyny viewpoint and the us vs them - that will not help. You need invest tine in understanding each report and why some are taking your direction seriously and why others are not. It may be because you are not respected by them as a leader, not because you are a younger woman. FYI younger woman eventually age into middle aged women and then god forbid older women. Unlike our male counterparts, after 40 you start to become invisible and obsolete so you need to developed this skill while you can.

OP - in the same boat as you. It depends a lot on company culture. I have 25+ years of experience at the big 4. I was always taken seriously. Now moved to tier 2, and there is one person in my team that completely ignores my coaching and asks. They have been with the co for many years and gotten by without doing much work. I have applied all sorts of strategies - positive and negative , this person is just stubborn beyond reason. At the same time, I have had to deal with their attitude , behavioral issues and poor performance and tread carefully as I am still establishing my own credibility.

Hi!
Here’s an additional perspective I´d like to offer in addition to all the comments you’ve gotten already:
while we cannot control what others think and do, we can always think about what is within your control to improve/change the situation.
You might want to reflect on some points:
- what are the facts about the situation here? You might “feel that they dont take your seriously” - what factual info do you have to support that? What makes you feel that way? Try to be as specific as possible.
- what has been working so far overall in your relationship with your direct reports & why? What hasnt been working & why? Based on your answers, what can you do more/less of and what can be done differently from now on?
- trying to be as objective as possible, what do you think about your leadership style/behaviour/communication makes them act in a certain way?
- what kind of relationship would you like to have with your Team?
- what do you need to improve/change to create such a relationship? What do they need to improve & change?
- have you had a chat with your Manager? What’s their input?

I would start by answering these questions.

Now, pls remember - all these questions are <not> meant for you to criticise yourself but rather to help you see what can be done differently to get to where you wish to be :)

Hope this helps and wish you all the best! You’ve got this!

Btw, if you’d like to chat further, feel free to message me/connect on LI.

Although misogyny is everywhere sometimes we let our feelings snow ball a situation.. I would recommend noting the scenarios which made you feel worse and play it back when ur calm.. if your pissed even after the situation has passed then have a conversation in open forum that xyz doesn’t sit well and you don’t appreciate being treated that way..

If you have to super strict if you need things done then it talks about the culture a lot.. Try taking bigger picture view and understand team dynamics..

We don’t have to walk around egg shells.. I’ve been fortunate to work with teams who valued my skill set more than my age.. I was leading a multi million dollar project at the age of 25.. Never faced any team who took me for granted due to my age or gender.. I learnt it’s totally due to my company culture n how we address each other.. I recommend introspection n work with your team n ask them point blank.. we can only speculate what’s goes on day to day.. ur the best person to judge.. communication is key..

My last job my boss was the same age as my kid. So many people were disrespectful to him because of his age. I told him he worked hard to get into a leadership position and he deserved that. The sooner he realized it the sooner everyone else would too. Have confidence in yourself and carry yourself as the leader you are and you will start to see a change in the people under you.

F

Revolut is famous for a very bad work culture so this comes as no surprise. Everyone there puts down everyone else, nothing to do with gender. You gotta fight it, else you will end up leaving.

Are you practicing Lean 6 sigma?

Following

I would suggest finding another female manager within the company but not in your direct reporting up to the ceo and see if she would mentor you.

When I walked in at 25 to build a department, I was called all sorts of things by my connecting departments. Totally not cool but I just did my job and proved that I could earn their trust.

The suggestion I have is listen to what your reports are telling you. It could be to stop the please and thank you and passiveness in emails. It could be that folks need visual diagrams to do things. Or you just have bad eggs.

Just like there are different love languages. There are different work languages. Some folks like direct instruction; others like stories. Most folks I work with do not want to sit in a meeting listening to corporate speak.

Can you give examples on how they don't take you seriously?

I've had similar struggles. In my case, I'm a Xennial (but look younger) and my struggles have been with Millenials and Gen Z. What I've found to be helpful is to give more context and explanations around tasks/requests, forward them escalation emails to show them the ramifications when they don't listen/follow directions and make them demonstrate that they clearly understand processes. Sometimes if they don't understand the "why" or they don't trust why there is a process in place, I've found they're more apt to go rogue.