Hey ladies - if you started dating someone ~6 months ago and it’s relatively serious, is it appropriate to text a friend and ask for a +1 to her wedding (invite just had me, no guests). She lives out of town and hasn’t meant him yet. Or is there really no room to change the number of guests on the invite?

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Don’t do that to your friend, it puts them in an incredibly uncomfortable situation and there’s already so much stress around planning and spending money.

Take it as a chance to enjoy an event solo with your old friends. Tell your boyfriend sorry hun you’re sitting this one out but I hope you get to meet my friend after the wedding.

likesmart

You can ask, but personally I definitely told one of my friends no to her plus 1.

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Yeah it’s definitely something that happens but it’s typically perceived as rude tbh

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I think the “rule of thumb” is generally if it hasn’t been serious for a year or more, no plus one is expected. It’s not about not having room to change the number of guests (you typically only have to give your final headcount to the venue 2 weeks in advance of the date), it’s more so the cost of paying for someone to be at your wedding who you don’t know. If she is your best best friend, I would maybe say she’d be fine with the question, but otherwise I think this is kind of obnoxious/rude and I’m guessing she’s not if you’ve been dwelling on the ask.

If it it was your wedding, how would you feel? Personally, I wouldn’t even bother asking, but up to you.

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I would not ask. It puts them in an uncomfortable situation.

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I don’t see the harm in asking. Obviously be prepared for a no. But she might keep you in mind if someone drops out etc.

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Agree. You could even give her an easy out and frame it that way. (“Totally understand if your number of guests is set, but I’ve been seeing X for 6 months now and would love to bring him if there’s space or any room opens up later”)

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6 months seems too short to ask. Like a year or more would make it more appropriate.

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No. That’s rude. Weddings are expensive and you’re putting your friend in an uncomfortable position to say no to someone they probably don’t want at their wedding.

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I'd ask, really gently, and say if anyone cancels, etc. I'd only ask if we're living together, regardless of time dating.

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Having planned a wedding, personally I wouldn't ask. You can, but I would expect a no.

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