How much income is enough for the spouse to afford staying at home in Bay Area? We’re not rich, and we have child care expenses and mortgage. But I’m at the point that I’m going to break down. I want to take a break so much.

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Probably depends on where exactly you live and what level of lifestyle you want to maintain. I’d say 400-500k but some extremely frugal people may get by with less. I’d constantly be worried about layoffs or unexpected health issues that force the single breadwinner to stop working. It’s so risky.

Have you explored taking a LOA so you have a break but don’t fully quit? That way you can take some quiet time to think and maybe find an alternative career path that fits you better.

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That’s so smart! Yes, make a decision based on carrots, not sticks :)

min 300k
little breathing room 400k
comfortable 500k

esp with a child

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I feel like 225k is enough. I make that now and spend 3k each month toward loans. If your husband makes that, then I think that's enough assuming you're not living above your means. Plus, I don't see why you need childcare expenses if you're not working.

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Does your company let you work half time or reduced hours? My company offers something but I've heard it's kind of difficult when you're in client facing roles. If your company offers something similar it could be a good way to bring in some income without putting pressure on the breadwinner partner.

Another option that my friends did: they brought in an au pair. It was cheaper than a daycare since they only had to offer room and board. Since they had an extra room in their apartment (3 bedroom), they were able to make it work until their kid was able to attend school and after school programs.

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