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I feel for you! I recently had a DR who sounds like a carbon copy of yours. After months of trying every leadership tactic in the book, I realized it’s not going to get better and the person is ultimately a weight around my neck, a drag on the team, and while I can’t really afford to lose them, I can afford even less to allow it to continue. Did the paperwork, got legal and finance approval, and let them go. The short term pain of not having someone to do the work was far, far outweighed by not having the constant hassle of dealing with an untrustworthy, insubordinate nuisance.
If you’ve exhausted all other options, you have to take care of yourself, your team, your clients.
I will echo this as I went through a very similar circumstance. Take notes and document everything. Document
Date assigned and scope
Completed date and errors
Rules not followed
Inappropriate comments/actions
A few years ago I took over a team that had a couple people like this. All I could do was try to balance between being approachable but also setting firm expectations that they were held to. Ultimately, the staff turned over almost entirely and that was what was really needed because they were frequently less than professional. It was also clear once they left that at least part of why they held information so closely was because they weren’t performing well and had gotten very adept at knowing which areas the previous manager wouldn’t look.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and know it gets better!
I have been very patient and supportive so far as I understand leadership changes take time to adjust to… however their recent attempts at blatantly lying to my face make me very nervous …I don’t really want to work with someone who is smart but lies to my face
Try to get another perspective from people who know the individual. Are they like this just with you? How was the individual dealt with in the past? What kept them in the company so long? At the end of the day the question will be are they doing more damage than good with their behavior? And whether you can afford to lose them…
I'd be careful with this. Maybe speak to other leadership. But I would not start asking around to colleagues. Aside from the fact that you don't know where their loyalties lie, it's just inappropriate.
There's only one way to handle it.
Be very clear about your expectations. Use examples of inappropriate behavior when you discuss it. Give a timeline for improvement. If it doesn't improve, manage them out.
Where is your documentation about their poor performance? Nobody is mentioning this. If you even have an HR department that is what should be done. If there’s insubordination have the conversation and document it, let the employee know it is not Acceptable behavior. If their performance isn’t where it should be have the conversation and document it. However you better also be laying out expectations on what they should be doing and an action plan on how you’re going to manage it.
If you’re having a conversation, you better be documenting it. People cannot fight documentation.
All of this!
Consider switching your 1:1s to include your own manager. Make it clear that you’re doing so as part of this person’s PIP. Either they will fly straight or they’ll forget your manager is there (if it’s online) and screw up in front of them.
Or, have your 1:1s via Teams and record them all. Again, make it clear that you are documenting their behavior in your meetings.
Sometimes people just get indifferent to change and sadly with frequent moves and shifts of responsibility at the higher levels most of our teams know one thing.. and it’s simply that the person are reporting to today will likely move in, up, over or out shortly. And in comes another and another and another.. with each leader change the employee has to change and meet that leader where they are which seems counterintuitive to me. But it’s likely your person is simply sick of needing to adapt again to yet another leader just to adapt again and then again …. It’s frustrating and literally exhausting and your entire career is in hands of every new leader, my advice doesn’t look like the rest of the group but there is a reason that a 15 year employee is digging in their heels and I guess it’s up to the company if they want to put in the work to find out why rather than document them out the door negating their entire career
I understand , M2 and I am very sympathetic to the changes. The challenges with this individual are beyond just the adaptation. I have spent time reflecting and trying to adapt myself to this team members ways of working. However, some of their behaviors are detrimental to business and baseline business conduct principles. I will keep and open mind and continue to approach this with empathy to the degree possible.
But pretend otherwise when other colleagues are on the meetings as well
I’d call out that feedback in a 1-1 and approach them on it directly… sort of a heart to heart. And say hey, if you don’t do these things, you won’t have a role on my team shortly.
I had a colleague who is more senior than me take over my role in the last year… I was going a good job but not senior enough for the role I was in as it evolved to be big. The first few weeks were really hard when the new leader didn’t listen to my input and everything that should have been a “we” was an “I”. Over time we have improved our working relationship trying to rally around the same goal. Every once in awhile, I disagree with her approach but try to ask questions offline vs in a big forum to not appear subordinate and also to ensure we keep things moving. I remember the first time that happened… she did call me directly and say hey, I would have expected you to act differently very directly - I’m sure this was hard for her but it was good to get us on the same page towards working well enough together.
What’s needs to be said has been said already, but I do have one question: I’m curious why you have been putting up with this for as long as you have?