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Longest dry spell? Single people only!
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This is pretty common among avoidants, who have a tendency to walk away when they’re sensing rejection. If you want to be in more secure and healthier relationships, I would work hard on dropping this type of language and being more vulnerable. While I totally get it’s meant to protect yourself, it also prevents you from getting close to someone.
Similar to what Analyst 1 suggested, I’d say something more vulnerable. If “I really like you” is too hard to say, consider something in the middle like, “I’m really excited about where this can go, but I’m afraid of getting much closer without knowing that you feel the same way.”
Yeah please don’t say this. If my partner brought this up every time, I would think THEY wanted to end it deep down and were looking for a way out. If you’re still in it, don’t plant these seeds in their mind. Show you are committed.
Yeah. Part of me would rather they end it so it’s not dragging me along. I feel like at time I’m the one who puts in effort to keep it going and they would just ignore my texts regarding more serious things. So at a certain point, Im just begging them to be honest instead of hiding from answering me.
Do you express your feelings? If you like your partner you can say “I really like you but I’m a little insecure that my feelings may not be reciprocated.” Your partner should then tell you how they feel or reassure you. You can also have a conversation about how to make you feel more reassured in the relationship or identify issues you’re having with relationships in general
Hmph yeah I could see why you would do that. Although if you want to make it more than casual, the only way to know is to ask. My bf asked me to be official and I initially said no (due to things happening in my life) and over time I agreed.
Try “this really bothered me and I really want us to work. how can we get past this?”
This opens a dialogue rather than shutting something down
Maybe you have to acknowledge that hard questions come with complicated answers. To me, it doesn’t seem like you’re running away from them, rather you’re sprinting towards rejection because you don’t want to get your feelings hurt by somebody telling you their version of the truth.
You can start off those conversations by being very open with what other people have to say. Promise yourself that you’re not going to judge them, and that you’re also not going to judge yourself. If you make a space for other people to be vulnerable, that’s a good way to give yourself a chance to open up too. Now… You’re going to get hurt sometimes. That’s fine. You’ll be OK. If you’re less afraid of that possibility, you will get a lot farther.