I definitely think companies have varying job intensity levels. My partner can go on long walks during the workday, end early, and listen to podcasts or YouTube during the day. My job is intense pretty much from 8-5, incidents, meetings, and more meetings. Anyone on the same boat and have different work intensity with their partner? How do you deal with it? Also, how do you vet this trait out when you’re exploring opportunities?

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I work 12 hours a day and get called for incidents related to apps I don’t even work on after hours. I don’t even have time to talk to the opposite sex, which is great when you need an excuse at Christmas.

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I think there might be a threshold you have passed. I’d start finding ways to say no

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My job is somewhere in the middle. Some days are a lot, other days it is laid back. My partner has a very intense job, and sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Just because my day was chill does not mean theirs was. I like to ask about the day-to-day to try and have an understanding when looking at other jobs.

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Hope you all find a way to support each other through the intense days

I don't think it's possible, in most cases, to discern how intense a job may be before you're actually in it. I agree that some workplaces are just more intense, but I'd also say some of that can be the result of how we manage time. I've worked in situations where it felt like I had no time to myself, but that was partly down to my own approach.

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I had the same feeling about it catching me by surprise. That said I’m sure if I asked if there is an on call policy and what the landscape was to get a feel a bit.

The red flags during the interview are typically many questions about dealing with conflict and working under pressure.

That’s tricky because conflict and pressure are unavoidable at a company, there’s no such thing as not having either one. A a hiring manager I’d like to know how you deal with it. Is there something particular that you think gets you there?

You could always look at reviews for the companies or find places employees can communicate anonymously. Also at larger companies, it is going to be different from org to org in a lot of cases.

That’s definitely true, you can’t rely on just one teams anecdote.

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