I once got feedback that I was “too quiet” in meetings. So I started speaking more. Then I got told I was “too direct.”
It was confusing.
How do you know when to adapt and when to just be yourself?

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Posting as :
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You are currently posting as works at

Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's the people that are telling you things?

I just hate this! You hired me for who I am, now let me be who I am right?

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In my experience, when someone says you're being "too quiet" in meetings, it's often meant as a compliment — not criticism. It usually means your manager or director values your perspective and wants to hear more from you. They're likely encouraging you to share your insights because they believe you have something important to contribute, whether that’s technical expertise or industry knowledge.

That said, it doesn’t mean you should speak just for the sake of it. You don’t need to chime in on every point — but when you have a meaningful perspective or insight, don’t hesitate to share it. Lean into your strengths.

Just a note: be mindful of how you express your thoughts. Avoid coming across as bossy or undermining others, especially those in leadership roles. The goal is to add value and show initiative, not to challenge authority or create tension.

That's a good takeaway! Keeping things positive and owning up

On golden rule is to read the room and understand the power dynamics. Also your contributions should not come off direct, and always sugar coat your words

I started to make my presence known, and I feel like I am getting unwanted attention too.

I think you may have misunderstood what they meant by being ‘too quiet’ in meetings. It’s perfectly okay to be quiet, but being too quiet can raise concerns. Try to contribute when you can and share your input, it shows you’re engaged and collaborating with your team.

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