I went to a firm happy hour last night and was shocked by how much social drinking is actually just functional alcoholism. It’s like the only way anyone knows how to decompress from the stress is by getting completely trashed together. Has anyone found a firm where sobriety (or even just moderation) is actually respected?

likefunny
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My understanding is that alcoholism is largely defined by whether use is difficult to control and whether it has a negative impact on the user’s health and life. Unless someone was doing something that objectively damaged their career, I don’t see how you can diagnose alcoholism from people getting a buzz at happy hour.

likesmart

I kinda understand what you’re getting at, but the way you phrased it makes you sound absolutely insufferable, OP. Be nicer to people, please.

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

There is nothing wrong with what they said. Actually, it's very true. Getting drunk seems to be the norm. I drink as well so I know what she is talking about. It seems that lots of people depend on alcohol to unwind and relax. I'm working on lowering my intake. Not only is it not good for you but think of all those drinkers getting behind the wheel. So you saying she is being unsufferable, is NOT true. That's reality!

likehelpful
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What do you mean by respected? I’ve worked with people who don’t drink for various reasons and no one (that I saw) was trying to pressure them to do otherwise.

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I totally understand OP!! I’ve had some colleagues ask me why I would not join them at bars. Other colleagues asked me why I would not have drinks like scotch or Yodka. This is followed by a slow withdrawal of association with you (even with work) because you choose to refrain. It’s a real issue!

likefunny

Respectfully, what do you expect from a happy hour? I’ve been sober for years, so even somebody who had the occasional few drinks seems like a lot to me. But it’s none of my business, and to each their own.

likesmart

Wow, lawyers over drinking at a firm event. Alert the media.

likefunnyhelpful

Big leap going from lawyers over drinking at a random firm function to alcohol is why people don’t trust lawyers. But ok.

like

Sounds like you just want a workplace where no one drinks? Not sure you’re going to find a no-booze law firm. Maybe Utah?

likefunny

OP let people live. Maybe you can try making a sober hang out group for yourself and others if that’s what you want. You can create the space you want for yourself without judging others.

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Drinking with coworkers is cathartic, and a bonding experience. Walls are lowered and personalities come out, as the shared experience is the trauma from the office. Maybe don’t go to happy hours anymore if you’re gonna judge others for this.

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Getting drunk does not mean someone is an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease that I hardly think you'd be able to diagnose just by seeing someone drinking after work.

That being said, firms that don't drink exist but are rare. I work at one and its wonderful.

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I don't drink and avoid the bulk of the questions by keeping a coke in my hand at all times during social functions. Drinking isn't something you have to participate in, but it is a pretty typical part of the industry so you will often find yourself around it.

like

Drugs are not the answer mkay

likefunny

I mean happy hours are a drinking event. Like they are explicitly centered around drinking. That said I know tons of people who either don’t drink at all or drink literally like twice a year (think like a glass of wine on their birthday and wedding anniversary or something) and they have no issues at all going to various social events including happy hours. This seems like it might be an issue specific to your firm if you feel genuine pressure to drink when you don’t want to.

like

There is way less focus on alcohol in-house.

likehelpful

I’m sober and was just in Vegas for a week on business. I had one instance where someone put a small amount of pressure on me to drink, and that was it. My decision to be sober is personal and my own, I don’t need others to be sober too.

That said, I tend to leave before the drunkenness gets too out of hand. Even in Vegas, I was in bed by 10 and even ran 5k at 5:30 the one morning. I just do me, and let them do them. They’re more uncomfortable drinking around me than I am being sober around them drinking I think, so I just try to minimize the discomfort for all.

likehelpful

Just don’t drink? Why do you need to be celebrated for not? Get a mocktail at the bar or don’t go.

like

Most people may not be celebrated, but some are mocked for not drinking!

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How can you claim people drinking at one happy hour is functional alcoholism? Do you have any idea how often and when else they drink? Wild conclusion.

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Getting trashed every once in a while isn’t alcoholism. You don’t even have to partake. No one would care if you were sober.

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I do not drink. I’ll pop by the firm happy hours and get a non alcoholic beer. People have commented . Let them. I’m the one with no hangover the next day.

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You went to ONE happy hour and diagnosed the whole staff with “functional alcoholism”? I just can’t with some of these posts.

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I absolutely agree OP. The comments below here speak for themselves. I "drink socially" and so do my colleagues, friends, and family. I can tell you social drinking is not one or two small glasses of wine. It's a bottle of wine followed by two pints of beer, and a couple of shots mixed in with some cocktails if it's a Friday. That is not social drinking in my opinion but it IS normal and it's a huge problem in society.

I took a step back in the last year or two and simply observing - not judging - I realized how normalized it is to drink that much and be considered socially acceptable. People think they are holding it together but in reality after three or four drinks you look and sound inebriated...and we usually don't stop after four.

Legal industry, medical, and finance industry all seem to share this trait. It would be one thing if it was young interns/associates blowing off steam but it's upper senior management and mid level employees included and it's regular drinking. I believe it's a huge problem. My friends in the legal industry often refer to their firms as "squares" when they land at a place doesn't hold crazy social hours ha!

Drinking is accepted because we work long hours and turn in excellent work...whereas in everyone's eyes alcoholism is when you reach rock bottom and lose your job, family etc. If your work productivity doesn't waver, then who cares if you drink half the bar dry a few times a week and on weekends? Ha!

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Leave the diagnosis of a disease to the professionals. You have no clue what you're talking about.

like

Wow, someone is a buzz kill!

likefunny

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