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Human Resources or accounting as a career ??
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I don't think it's a red flag to be 40 and single.
💯
Pro
Why would this be a concern? I’m in my 40s and single, never been married.
Ugh thank you!! The level of shock on my face when I read OP’s message 😑
40 and single not really. 40 and never been in a long term relationship is a different story.
Pro
Is he 40 and living like 40 or never matured past 25? I dated someone 12 years older and felt like I was the mature one in the relationship. That was the red flag.
Rising Star
Oh so true.
Pro
I don’t think it’s a red flag. Older men can be fun!
So agree. Last relationship. Person was 11 years older than me. We had tons of fun in bed. My best yet in this life. It keeps getting better though.
Rising Star
I would say the bigger flag is that he's pursuing someone 11 years younger than him. Have him talk about his previous relationships- does he usually date women this much younger than him? That usually means he's either immature or women his age don't want him.
I’m 11 years younger than my husband. At first I was also like 🧐 “why you looking so young?” But he wasn’t per se looking as young as me but young enough to have kids. So he was looking for <35 ish.
So yeah I mean biology kind of sucks - that him looking more in own age would have been more of a risk to that goal. But I do get it. We do have a kid now.
Chief
40s are good in bed lol. Have fun and see where it goes.
Chief
Lol! Im 2-2 dating men in their 40s and being a satisfied customer but I’m sure there are some men that still haven’t figured it out.
Not necessarily but go in with your eyes wide open
It's a 10 year age difference. Not really that big at this point in life. Have you never dated anyone outside of your immediate age range? What's the real concern here?
Rising Star
That fact alone no. He could have been so focused on his career, he looked up and all of a sudden noticed his click is ticking if he wants to have kids. He could be attracted to assertive career minded women and the timing never worked, he could be a complete narcissist, or he could still act immature and women his age want a grown-up. Just being 40 and into you tells you nothing ( other than he has good taste in women 😉)
So, if you like him, I wouldn't throw him under the bus until you make your own determination on whether he's a keeper or not based on his actions with you.
I have plenty of friends who have dated with that large of a gap and some who still are dating with that large of a gap. I also know a few who married with that gap. Not a red flag at all to me and totally normal from my experience. A lot of my guy friends (I’m 31) are in their 40s and have never been married. Where are you located? I’m in DC and it’s completely normal. I see it a lot in larger cities
This is me! Married to someone w that age gap and in DC
Why is he single?
I met my husband when I was 27 and he was 38. He was never married, single, no kids.
I also looked for the red flags to figure out why he was single. Figured out it was nothing major, but just that he had two long relationships with women where it didn’t work out (both sort of rejected him at the end - one due to falling off the deep end w grief/cheating/alcohol when her mom died, and the other due to culture/religion). He had also moved around a bit for career. When you juxtaposed when these relationships ended with his moves, it made sense why he never had a real window outside of those two women to lock someone else down.
He was a little more transient than maybe I would have preferred but again it was a minor thing and he was ready to settle. He mostly had moved around for career.
He’s now 44 and I’m 33 and we are married w a kid. So just saying not always some big bad red flag but could just be a lot of little decisions
Red flag 🚩 visible from low earth orbit
Wondering why as well
Pro
Not automatically.