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Carl Nassib 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
NYC 🐠 Anyone try the dating app MOTTO? Any good?
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Gay men in NYC?
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Chief
You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Don’t be ashamed and don’t be guilty.
Ew gay white guys probs feel so good when they read posts like these...
Ok not all gay whites imo are good on the eyes. I would not generalize to say white guys are more attractive at all. There are really attractive guys across all ethnicities.
I understand how harmful racial preferences can be, having been on the receiving end (constantly hearing “no asians”). I often feel quite lost because I know I would be more compatible with an asian guy than a white guy (in terms of background / culture) but I’m undeniably more attracted to white / middle eastern guys I hate myself for “being part of the problem”. Anyone else feel a similar way? Hard to reconcile given the strong view in the LGBT community that Asian guys are often less desirable. (Not trying to promote stereotypes but trying to have real y’all based on my experience)
It doesn’t help that media, particularly porn, does the work of upholding the pinnacle of gay beauty as masc-Eurocentric men. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re part of the problem, but think about it, it’s hard to subvert popular notions of ‘who is desirable’ when you’re faced with one dimensional representations everyday! I don’t think that you should feel ashamed for being attracted to white / middle eastern guys— However I do think the important work that we should ALL do is to actively question and reflect on our dating patterns, who we’re attracted to, and why we’re attracted to them in order to challenge any subconscious biases that we hold on to. We can’t radically change how other people perceive Asian guys— but I think you might find that introspection will allow you to feel more confident in the space that you take up and you might not feel ~quite as lost as you used to.
Pro
I grew up in Asia until I was 20, and I am attracted to Asian guys, but my taste has also gradually moved towards white/middle eastern/latino guys the longer I’ve been in the US. On the other hands, I have Asian friends who were initially exclusively attracted to white guys but then became attracted to Asian guys when they moved to California. So I think real life exposure also plays a role besides media culture.
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Agree - my tastes have definitely morphed depending on where I’ve lived.
Omg I feel this. I swear I’m not even that ugly but no normal looking white guy will give me the time of day.
Lol I’m a bottom and they don’t even want me. Although I do get attention from guys but they are just not my type
I’m a gay Asian who prefers dating other Asians (though not exclusively so). It is definitely a bit of a shame that a lot of Asians highly prefer whites. Having said that I don’t think you should feel any guilt - your preferences are heavily shaped by your experiences growing up and media culture. Just like me preferring Asians is OK, so is you preferring whites. What’s more important is that you’re not a prick about it.
I find I go through phases...Don't know if other people have that experience but I'm all over the place sometimes. Running joke and my friend group is that I don't date white guys even though I am white. It's not that. I just don't think white guys like me. Asian and Brazilian though...woof.
I am a white guy and sadly the majority of my friends are not attracted to asian men. Some of them showed me their apps and all the top chats are from asian guys repeatedly asking to hook up - to me it seems like a pretty common preference to have for Asians so you’re definitely not alone on this!
I think you’re talking about this interview. I’m sure it could be turned into a movie though
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPfRJ6ZCRk
Similarly, as a white hairy guy I’m mostly attracted the those with much less hair (typically Asian guys) although I wouldn’t say I’m exclusively attracted to Asian guys (my bf is Arab)
I’m gay Asian too and in many ways opposite of stereotypes - I’m often attracted to black guys and I’m top. (I’m also attracted to other Asian guys although I haven’t found many gay Asians, even less gay Asians who want to date other gay Asians). One challenge is that most black guys I came across are not in a great social economic situation. I have no problem dating someone making less than me and can shoulder bigger responsibilities but often find myself in a situation taken for granted to be a provider financially and the other guy becoming more and more complacent. Other times the black guy dating me just because they have been too disappointed with other black guys and want to try something new. The rare times that I found black guys who are doing well social economically are trying so hard to fit into the white world that they value relationship with their (mostly) white friends above everything else. It’s really disheartening.
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Very interesting. Socio economic status is a big one that doesn’t get talked about enough
I’m a middle eastern guy who is shamefully unattracted to my own race either. I am very attracted to asian guys though. I don’t want to fetishise and I don’t believe in the whole asian bottom thing. I have a feeling this has a lot to do with where you’re raised.
Rising Star
👏 ty for not perpetuating that train of thought 😂 and I think most of us are very into middle eastern guys :)
Rising Star
I’m similar to you OP. But mine can be pointed to a really obvious feature - I really like beard and scruff on a man and asian people just mostly don’t have them lmao. Having said that I do find asian men handsome but for every 5 white guy I find hot only 2 asian ones are to me.
Prob a function of being a minority in a predominantly white country - grew up wanting to have features of a white person to fit in and ended up becoming attracting to it? Wonder if there’s some research about this somewhere.
Just psychoanalyIng myself :)
Chief
There is a lot of research available on this topic, particularly for Asian gays. I would alert the interested reader to check some of them out. Also, Asian is a very large, non-homogenous group even on the physical characteristics side when you go down the list depending on country, region (for native populations there).
dang OP I feel like we’re the same person...I hate that if I do date a white guy I’ll be a walking stereotype 😪
I do think that my “preference” stems from a warped sense of attraction that’s developed from all the media I consume (Instagram, entertainment, dating apps, porn) that promotes white beauty standards, and is all the more prominent in the gay community
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If you are anything like Omar Borkan, most men would be lusting 😀
😂😂 you know why don’t you say that you look like a black Tom Hardy or something.
I was at a conference in Dubai and I was talking to the speaker before he went on stage. An Arab investor walked in, snapped his fingers and pointed at a glass of water, asking him to fetch it for him hahaha.
Anyway, I think Indians and Arabs look very distinct. It’s unfortunate that people sexualise one race and mock the other.
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I get so much more luck (on the apps) outside of the US...places like Israel, Greece, etc. Anyone else feel the same?