I’m always the one associates come to when they’re stressed, the one smoothing over conflicts, checking on morale, keeping the peace. I genuinely care, but emotional labor on top of real labor is exhausting. Some days it feels like I’m the firm therapist instead of a lawyer. I want to be supportive without being everyone’s default crisis line. How do you set boundaries without sounding cold?

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You set boundaries by gently nudging people to handle their own issues among themselves or use the firm’s resources. Are you at a firm with HR, affinity-group liaisons, mentors, any of that? Why are *you* the one responsible for checking on morale and keeping the peace when there’s a practice group leader whose actual job that is? There’s zero reason you should be smoothing over conflicts when the firm presumably has structures in place for that. And if the firm has no resources for this stuff, and all these issues seem to have no resolution in sight, then maybe thats a strong signal you should be looking to lateral.

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Set boundaries by being honest with yourself and others about what you have the capacity to handle. People won't respect your time unless you respect your time.

And don't smooth over other people's conflicts. You're not HR and you also don't want to get in the middle of other people's conflicts, especially if they do start escalating into something that requires HR. You can give advice, but you shouldn't be trying to mesoate disputes between grown adults

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I am also this person. The best advice I can give you is that as an empath, you are not going to come off as "cold" as you think you are. You need to give yourself the permission to show grace to yourself just like you regularly do to others and attend to other matters. As for communicating it, just saying "I would love to continue the conversation, but I really am slammed and need to get back to something" is completely reasonable and no one will have an issue with it.

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