I’m planning to take a few months (3.5) of maternity leave. Curious - did you find you had any energy / interest in doing anything work related during that time? I was considering taking a remote professional development class (with a very light schedule) - is this realistic? I can’t imagine doing nothing mentally stimulating for 4 months but also don’t want to commit set unrealistic goals.

You have the rest of your life to commit yourself to career development. You only have a newborn for 20 or 30 days, and once those days are gone, they don’t ever come back.

Give yourself at least a few weeks to do nothing but hold and stare at them and watch them breathe before signing up for something that takes any deposits out of that very limited bank of newborn time.

Taking care of a newborn is a full time job. It’s exhausting and relentless. You might have the energy for work related stuff or you might not. But it might be less challenging mentally if you’re okay with either. Also, congratulations!

I told myself I would get all sorts of house projects done during my 3 month leave. Hahahahahahahahahaha. It’s not hard but it’s relentless. I wouldn’t commit to anything and then feel like you were failing.

No. No no no no no. You will be so busy and exhausted. If you have an easy baby, you might feel like you have energy, but unlikely. (Read a book. I didn’t do that for 3 years.) If you have a tough baby, you’ll be scraping for every moment of sanity and sleep. I’ve had both. Do take the time to learn yourself and your kid. Get outside. Leave your to do list as empty as possible. The busyness is really hard to imagine, but once it arrives, it makes sense. It’s not all ‘enjoyment,’ (a lot of it sucks), but it is the strangest, newest experience you will have, so enjoy that part of it. The rest of your life will be waiting for you. And if what you’re secretly worried about is losing your brain, your independence, and the things that make you you and not just ‘a mom,’ you don’t need to take a class for that. You’ll find your way. Just keep an eye out for the women you admire and get to know them.

My advice would be to hold off committing to anything until you see how you feel after the first month (at least) As others have noted the newborn weeks are relentless and exhausting (and especially so the first time around).

Focus group of one but I really struggled my first maternity leave bc I had these ‘grand plans’ (ranging from getting around to cooking new dinner recipes and catching up on reading, to hanging that gallery wall I never got around to). I felt like such a failure because I couldn’t find time or energy in the day to do any of it for the first two months, and my son was relatively easy (no colic/acid reflux etc)

I’m now 3 weeks into having my second and enjoying the time SO MUCH more because I went in with zero expectations of myself other than savoring the time with the baby. Turns out giving myself permission to have such a singular focus vs resisting my typical urge to keep pushing myself is has been completely liberating.

Agree with the President above. All of us have very different maternity leaves and learning to be a mom is exhausting! But the key thing is completely focusing on your new little love.
I thought I’d stay up to date on work things too but I wanted to only be with my little girl every second once she arrived and so glad I did. There hasn’t been a moment to get that quality time since and shes 4.
See how it goes and how you feel... sign up for a course once you are on maternity leave if it feels right for you. But I would hesitate to commit to anything prior.

I say sign up but be prepared to cancel/delay guilt free. You don’t know who you are going to be yet - line up the ducks and go with your gut.

You’ll be on a 2-3 hour cycle rather than a 24 hour cycle for months. It’s an amazing, beautiful time but it’s also a hard, dark, relentless time. I point this out because you’re not on your own time, you cannot predict how you’ll feel. You’re going to walk through a door and come out another person. So, yes, you might want mental stimulation. But my advice is don’t put pressure on your future self by committing to anything now. See how you feel and what you’re up for. Congrats and good luck.

Thanks so much everyone. Really helpful and insightful info on this new, strange terrain 👽 . Appreciate you all 🙏🙏

I did nothing except adjust to motherhood and it was great

If you don’t have other kids to tend to and can take the class at your own speed, you should be able to do it. Some days/weeks are busy and fly by but other times there’s plenty of time for something like a class during nap times. I’m on mat leave now and have kept up with work emails (and attended things like town halls).... there’s no quite enough time to do real work but plenty of time to do mostly mindless tasks

No, don’t do it.

I wouldn't commit to anything until after the babe is born and you see how things are. It is a lot more labor-intensive than you might think. Also there is the delirium from lack of sleep.

Dont do anything within the first 6 weeks. Peak fussiness! Also figure out what kind of sleeper your kid is first before committing or investing in anything. Good luck and congrats :)

I couldn’t with my firstborn. Learning how to be a mom was insane And those 2-3 hour sleep cycles early on are especially brutal. It’s one of the ways they torture terrorists. The second time around, even though I had a toddler and a newborn, I knew what I was doing, and I wasn’t mourning losing living life for myself. I swung a light social content project, but you’re just going to be exhausted. Keep expectations low especially for a first baby. Like showering-once-every-few-days low.

Personally I would wait to commit to anything. I am 2months into mat leave with my first and I have a laundry list of "passion projects" that I haven't been able to get to. I do miss the mentally stimulation and can't wait to go back to work but at the same time, I know my baby needs me right now and that I'm never going to get this time with her back.

It also really depends on the type of baby you get. My baby is currently going through a sleep regression and stays up till 8am in the morning (yes..really.) I'm so exhausted right now and can't imagine having any other commitments other than being with my child. But, I think if your child naps and sleeps well at night it would be totally possible to do a project here and there, but again you won't know that until your child is born.

Lastly, I've really been focusing on accepting the state that I'm in. It isn't easy having a child in the middle of a global pandemic and it's ok to take a "break." It's ok to focus on your child right now and not worry about being mentally stimulated. As women I think we put a huge burden on ourselves to be everything all the time, but it's ok to focus on your mom-side right now. We are all just doing the best that we can.

Agree with everyone on taking the time to bond with your baby. On my first mat leave when I got a little stir crazy after a couple of months, I joined a new mom support group, did Fit 4 Mom classes and took my baby to music classes. Highly recommend all of those if you can. Second mat leave was on quarantine so all my plans got sidetracked. Hope all goes well for you!

are you insane!!! enjoy your baby. work will always be there.

The last two weeks Is when I finally started working on my portfolio. You won’t get that time back. I would spend it with the kid.

Agree with everyone above. If you are 6-8 weeks in and find yourself being bored go ahead but don’t go into it putting pressure on yourself.