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Lots of wine.
my husband and I managed for 8 months with a toddler at home (and another in preschool). We each had to communicate schedules the night before and also let go of caring of the kids were on zoom or in the background screaming. In fact, I actually recommend making it abundantly clear of what’s happening in your house it bc it’s the only way childless colleagues or ones with help can sympathize. If you hide it they’ll never know. We also had days/times when we took the kid for a walk or something to give the other more personal time.
You’ll get through it!
And just lean into whatever works for your family in this moment -extended nap times, more TV than you’re comfortable with, mac and cheese multiple nights a week, declining meetings and the “send later emails”. Whatever gets you through this shit.
Time to find a daycare. You will feel like a new person.
Can you find a helper/nanny to be with the kids in a different part of the house while you work? Seems like too much for you to be doing.
If you have friends with kids nearby you could swap blocks of time when you watch each others kids!
We take turns using the office for quiet concentration. We started saying no to some calls. Sometimes we switch off during a call - so if it’s :30, one of us goes video dark for 1st 15 and the other for the last :15 (repeat 2x for a :60 call). We still mandate nap time (or at least quiet time) and work flat out during that time. We don’t do much TV in our house, so if we are both on a vital, no-interrupt call we let her watch Sesame Street (it’ll auto play multiple episodes on the pbs app). In some ways it’s easier when their attention spans make it possible to watch tv.
I’m working PT, while husband works FT, so definitely not quite the same situation. But even so, we still have to coordinate our schedules the night before - who has calls when, if calls overlap who needs to be on video. If you can, block out some time (even 20 min) to have uninterrupted time with your kid(s) - no emails, no phone, just really being present. That way, when you need to put them in front of the TV or iPad for a while, you feel slightly less guilty 😉 Also, pack their snacks and lunch the night before. That way you can just grab them when needed.
Also solidarity, as we haven’t felt comfortable sending to daycare/school and no luck with a regular nanny/babysitter. So still very much feeling the strain, as I’m sure you are too. Hopefully we’re almost through this and once things are “back to normal”, balancing work and kids will seem like a piece of cake!
I really appreciate all of the suggestions and solidarity! Will be putting many of these into action, especially the prep the night before.
One thing that has worked so far is to delegate more responsibility to the kids. I chunked out the day with “when you finish this responsibility you can enjoy that reward”. So the kids are busy and learning age-appropriate responsibility.
Daycare won’t solve our challenges because of a the mix of unique health conditions and ages of the kids. But a nanny would be amazing as soon as we find the right person.
Of course finding child care would be optimal, but it just hasn’t worked out well at this point in the pandemic. Curious about creative ideas others may have discovered.