Related Posts
Anonymous User
Consultant with 15lpa fixed in KGS, is that low?
Bowl Leader
Conversation Starter
Additional Posts in Relationships
Conversation Starter
Pro
Considering dating apps—any insights?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Chief
Why do you need to ask where he sees it going? Tell him where you see it going and ask if he feels the same. You have agency.
Second this. Tell him what you want and let him respond
I would just ask “what are you seeking out of our relationship?”
:)?
No. Just ask.
Rising Star
What are you looking for from this guy? Do you want to be exclusive- then say that’s what you want. Are you both making an equitable effort to travel to see each other?
How far is the distance- is it possible for one of you to move in the near future?
Chief
What would the right answer be to you if you asked him that? Typically when we ask people questions like that, we are seeking to gain a sense of control over the future and reduce the fear of disappointment.
The only thing that will increase your chances of a pleasant future (with or without him) is if you let go of expectations and get to know him day by day. Look to children as an example. You never see second graders on the playground asking each other “where is our relationship going?” bc they aren’t driven by fear.
Get so involved into life that you couldn’t care less where it goes.
Send it, if you feel, feel
Sorry to whomever just messaged me! I accidentally deleted the message when I was going to write back
In NYC, long distance is the other side of Central Park, or any borough that isn't Manhattan.
M2- while I appreciate the sentiment, 2nd graders aren’t worried about heartbreaks, emotional toll of misaligned expectations, etc etc. There’s merit to making sure at least there’s alignment on what both parties are expecting from each other now, and from the relationship.
So I would say OP, follow the other advice. Share what you want/ how you’re feeling. Be prepared to adjust based on their response though. Ask yourself what you want if their response isn’t what you’re hoping to hear.
I don’t think it’s a bad idea, after dating a guy for a couple of months, to ask where the relationship is going. Some men can be indecisive because of past experiences or what they’re currently dealing with. Sometimes they just need clarity or a nudge to think things through.
If a man doesn’t know where he’s going, it’s okay to express what you’re looking for—as long as it’s done in a calm and realistic way. It’s not about pressure or ultimatums, and definitely not about saying “I want to get married in a month.”
It’s about honest communication. In fact, some men actually appreciate that level of clarity because it helps them understand your intentions and decide where they stand.
At the end of the day, it’s better to have the conversation than to keep guessing.
Check out A Little Nudge on Instagram. She teaches you how to just do the things you need to do, from the beginning of the apps to first few dates to exclusivity conversations.
Less than a year …. Then Yes .