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She’s definitely jealous of you and has some boundary issues. I suggest keeping your distance and not engaging with her when you don’t have to. Limit small talk and don’t ask her personal questions, also avoid any in return. If things get weirder, go to HR.
My boss had this same experience with a direct report a few years ago (before my time). The person ended up leaving before it went too far, but I think your radar should definitely be extremely high, and you should document all interactions with her. Her behavior is borderline stalking and certainly unhealthy.
Wow! This actually happened to me also! I was fortunate that the employee ultimately left on her own but several staff members made comments before she left. They noticed her odd interest (obsession?) with me. Definitely an uncomfortable situation. Best of luck to you!
This is super creepy!
I would be cautious about:
- backstabbing
- poisoning
- being kidnapped by her.
I know it’s a long stretch, but never know what psychos can come up with.
The movie “Single White Female” 😬
Subject Expert
Eeek this sounds like the start to a thriller movie!! I’d just be cautious to see if it turns from flattery to a full on stalking/obsession…. Don’t share your partners details so you don’t find her trying to sleep with him (bc that’s where I saw the movie plot going in my head.) 🫢🫢
Subject Expert
I hopeee we’ve all just seen too many dramas and were being dramatic. Hopefully it’s just a case of imitation by means of flattery and doesn’t come down to any sort of sabotage (career or personal), but def just watch you back with her!
congratulations!
I haven’t run into this version of it. But I’ve had a few that would be close. And my suggestions below might make me seem paranoid.
Best case scenario - it’s a fad and she goes back to her version of normal. Although she might have burned a bridge moving up the ladder in this company.
The steps that I probably would do:
1) Document everything you have interactions with this manager. (Especially if a direct report).
2) Let your direct manager and HR know what’s going on. Document the conversation in writing and save hard copies off site.
3) Remove any personal photos from your office and set your social media to block her.
4) Talk with security about setting up someone walking you to your car or other safety precautions like if you call a number looking for Eugene- that is code for help.
5) Have a code word for you and your immediate family (think fiancé especially) for phone calls and random folks showing up.
6) Remember HR protects the company, so talking with an employment lawyer about how to protect you in this scenario might be worth the consultant fee.
I wouldn’t address this with her until you have had some sort of conversation with HR on how to handle.
You 2.0 probably is referring to the role that you vacated. But as a manager herself, this is just weird.
I think you should set up another person to do the mentoring (especially if you are her direct manager).
Talking with your sponsor about this is more for awareness because this can turn ugly way too quickly. The earlier the better in this scenario.
The boss/sponsor doesn’t have to do anything. But contingency plans can be made if it goes from flattery to outright sabotage.
The same with HR. Both can give you some pointers on how to support/protect yourself.
Yikes, be cautious and watch your back. Has anyone else noticed and brought it to your attention ? I’m thinking along the lines of documenting this behaviour. I would not engage with her more than needed and definitely set boundaries. This does not sound like it’s going to end well. As a precaution I would add pepper spray to my car keys and be extra cautious walking to and from your vehicle and place of employment at all tines.
A work friend laughed about it privately so at least some def notice. I honestly chalked it up to maybe she didn’t know how to dress and was just mimicking outfits I had that she liked until she figured out her own style. But the fake versions of my rings really wigged me out when I saw them and she admitted they were fake and she’s not engaged (even tho she’s sporting a fake engagement ring………)
As someone who has worked with a stalker, definitely don’t take this lightly. If she’s being that creepy out in the open, imagine what weird stuff they’re doing in private. Definitely report this to someone higher up.
You could preemptively speak with HR. Let them know your concerns and ask to restructure the team so that she is not your direct report. I’d choose to frame it as you’re worried about the perception of favoritism.
The last time that happened to me, she kept asking me how did I know all this stuff and know how to do my job so well. She said she looked up to me to train her and mentor her. That was her thanking and complimenting me. Well next thing I know she’s trying to out-do me and use any opportunity to throw shade my way to the boss. It became a little toxic with her around. I’m sooo glad and relieved when she quit. So take it as a sign of competition.
Oof, you might be right—she did apply for the same role years before I joined and wasn’t selected. Definitely will watch my back with her more, thanks!
Contact HR
I have had this happen, and to be honest, it only got worse because I did not address it. By the time I did, she was invading my home life too. I went to my supervisor to see if they would be more involved to make sure I was not reading more into it. After one week he went with me to the president. He let me know she came to him to discredit me and that she was doing everything. We then realized that by investigating, she was being like me to the rest of the staff by being me 2.0. I was able to discuss with her that I didn't get to this position by how I dress, my manorisms, or my family. I got there because of my hard work, dedication, and knowledge. Then, I explained that this behavior was disturbing to myself and others. We then terminated her. She tried to sue the company and myself personally. We did document and take pics, so we won't the case. But it still mentally messes with me.
That definitely gives off the vibes from the movie ‘Single White Female’……RUN!
Hahaha. My exact thoughts 🤣
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery- but this is weird. Not sure why she thinks how you “look” is what has gotten you this far. Keep your distance- and keep your conversations about business only. She may actually learn something- Good Luck!
Take it as a compliment. She wants to be you with out putting in the work. I highly doubt your bosses promoted you because of your outfits. So let her play this weird fantasy and she will realize she actually has to put in the work.
On the side note, congratulations on your promotion! I wish all the best in your new position, I believe you will do great things!
I would reach out to HR/employee relations and just get on their radar. The paper trail started early might help later
Is it possible that she is just admiring your dressing sense ? I agree ring is a bit too much too.
I thought so but the rings creeped me out a bit…that piece puts it a little over the edge of normalcy for me.
Ask your IT department to track failed logins on your accounts to see if she is trying to get to your stuff.
Scary
Creepy. Beware buy ppl like that might switch soon. Introduce her to your friend or something
The highest form of flattery is someone dressing like you or copying your hair style too. Keep your friends close and enemies closer.