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Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
Any Punjabi guys here? 26F, west coast
Conversation Starter
Any single woman up for a drink this evening? 🥳
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Pro
I love you Atlanta, GA. Respect.
Rising Star
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Rising Star
Sorry, and I am career driven, but if I guy SAID that as his dating criteria of a girlfriend/wife I’d get out of there. Marriage isn’t about jobs and titles. And, to be gendered for a sec, I don’t want an SO to bank on me to be the breadwinner.
I’ve been married for 10 years. But if I was in the dating scene I’d mark that as a red flag.
(Ps it’s also possible they’re simply saying the words to pander to ambitious women).
Chief
Yup. Either red flag of afraid if he said he'd be okay if someone wanted to be a SAHM , he would be redflagged as misogynistic. I would tend to be more circumspect in my data gathering. While I wouldn't necessarily ask on the first date you can tell alot by asking about their parent's relationship.
I remember in college being flip to a friend's mom that I was dating the guy not his parents. She said how his dad treats his mom will tell you more about how he will treat you 10 years down the road, than anything he says or does now. She was spot on.
If you follow the guidance of some matchmakers, asking straight up what they’re looking for is not very productive. Discuss instead where you see yourself in 3 or 5 years, share your views and see if they respond to that and their view matches. Don’t go into a date like it’s a survey to see how any answers they get right
Chief
Maybe do that 3 dates down the line, first date keep it light. Observe their personality, behavior, talk about light and fun things. Ease into it.
Rising Star
Anyone who tells you something relatively superficial or shallow should be a yellow or red flag. Because yes, it's valid and important to know that a prospective partner is both willing and able to provide for themselves, but that's not what builds a foundation for a strong relationship. Character is. If you asked me or my partner what we love most about the other, we would tell you character traits: I love that he is kind, gentle, patient, and empathetic. He loves that I am considerate, generous, and creative. We both value loyalty and honesty and being kind to others. Our jobs or where we went to school or where we grew up are not who we are. They had impacts on who we are, but they don't define us. Anyone who shows you that they are unwilling or unable to make a real connection based on shared values and goals is someone you can stop expending time and energy on.
Rising Star
Exactly. What I love about my husband is that he is hilarious and captivating and I can count on him to always do what he says he’ll do, every time. That’s why we became a couple and stay a couple.
Chief
Really? I wish more guys said that to be or asked about my career. I live in NYC with many successful men that assume they are automatically more successful, more driven etc.
You should have some answers and ability to pivot the conversation. The part about you not feeling good enough for them is something you need to work on. Only you have control over that.
Chief
I don’t ask this early on