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Family comes first. It's tough. Happy wife is happy life.
30 years from now when you retire, BCG won’t give a shit about you. They pimped you
For the money you brought in and nothing more. The only person that’ll care about you is you’re wife and your children, and if you’re wife isnt sitting next to you anymore because you stayed in consulting, you made A poor decision
Similar to slalom I have a 5mo old and a 5 year old. I just left consulting but only because if any amazing industry offer with considerable upside, and to spend more time with my little ones
Does BCG offer temporary internal roles? I've found the long slog of travel every week is hard on my wife, but when I'm able to work from home for a few weeks it helps reset things.
Either way, if you're like me, you'll find that seeing your child only 3 days a week kinda sucks, and you'll have to decide if consulting is right for you.
Family first. Either step it up at home or get out.
Gotta tell you as a man that this point in life will be remembered as a beautiful time (especially by her) but it is hell to live through under any circumstances. Good news - in the grand scheme of things it is short lived. Tough your way through it while sticking to your plan for career and marriage. You will come out the other side golden !
I completely agree with the sentiment about that you should be completely present at home. The argument for "quality time" is a slippery one though. You simply can't replace quantity of time with quality of time. That is because you don't control when quality time happens. I have lots of quality time with my kids when we are doing random stuff like rolling around on the living room floor on a Wednesday night. There is no way to manufacture that. Quantity begets quality.
Take inventory of what you love about the consulting world, and what you do not. Also take your family's perspective and do the same. Compromises are not a bad thing and can actually benefit all parties. (Ref: 4yr old & 2yo twins).
A slightly diff perspective: doing what you love also has a bearing on how things go at home, so don’t start with the idea that quitting is the solution. It might be the final solution but given you like your job, try other things first. For example, how present are you when you’re home? Do you help with chores? Do you have date night at least once a month? Consulting is not perfect, but no job you get will be. For reference I have a 4 month old and 3 year old.
And good luck dad
I got a wfh gig for a bit and was told to consider internal stuff as an option.
Similar situation where wife works and we have a 10month old. Not sure I want to miss all that time either. The partner race doesn’t seem appealing given the trade offs for me.
BCG2 is spot on - make your time at home really count. Being completely present for both your child and your wife is huge. Do things as a family and do things individually with each. This is your job when you come home - make the time at home true quality time. Get in a rhythm of doing something with your child each weekend. I have three kids all older now, but my thing was the zoo. I used to take them every weekend - as they got older the kids looked forward to it and it always gave my wife a three hour break. Try and have date night with just you and your wife every other weekend. Some people stop this and use the kid as an excuse - don’t. Beyond that - you can always join Slalom and do consulting where you live.
I wrestle with this all the time. The quality time argument is simply a rationalization.
I love it that this bowl is so awesome and family oriented. Good advice!
You guys aren’t even to the hard stuff yet / if your wife is having problems with one child, it better because she’s working a high profile career right now too.
^ Or what? Not even sure what this means. Having any absentee spouse is tough. If you can't see that, you're in trouble.
This bowl has a self selection bias on being family oriented of course! Else we wouldn’t have joined.
I am with D2. This is a short phase of craziness. Slow down on your work, find ways to be more local, spend quality time at home. All of this will help. It becomes a bit better when kid becomes older. A hasty decision on quitting consulting may not be best either. I believe in family first too (have 2 and 4 year old) but there is a balance