Related Posts
Conversation Starter
Pro
How to overcome a breakup. I'm heartbroken 😭
Enthusiast
More Posts
Subject Expert
Enthusiast
Conversation Starter
Visual Storyteller
Additional Posts in Confession
Rising Star
Pro
Visual Storyteller
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
The new company I’m at now sent me an email from an email address that was HR@companyName.careers saying I was accepted for the position. They gave me paperwork to fill out and sign to accept the position
I fill out the paperwork and send it back to them and it goes through… then a few days later I go back to the email to say something else and I get this…?
Then today I got a check from the company In the mail to setup my home office, and it’s signed by someone I’ve never met before or heard of…?
What…..
Enthusiast
Rising Star
Rising Star
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Rising Star
How was you memorial day weekend?
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Rising Star
Even if you stay with him, are you happy to spend the rest of your days with him?
You can't change someone and if that's just his personality, it is what it is. We can't tell you what to do but I encourage you to really think about what you want in life and in relationships and ask if your current partner fulfills those needs. Couples therapy could also be beneficial if both parties want to work it out.
Perfect response
Enthusiast
Don’t look for perfection. Understanding and acceptance will help. Unless the relationship is abusive, or there are clear flags - don’t give up. There must have been a reason you said yes. Look for those, again.
Thanks for all the perspectives! Given we are long distance the inconsistencies are around communication and showing affection when we are not in person. I know I’ll have to make the final decision but it’s been helpful to vent in a moment I was feeling particularly low.
Rising Star
Best of luck!
Without additional information, this could be your anxious attachment and that can be helped with individual or couples therapy but I'd need to know more about his inconsistency. Do you have any examples?
Girl, don’t let him go. You’ll regret it if you do
I say either do therapy or let it go. Staying in a relationship because “you’re afraid you won’t find better” is terrible for both of you. I say this as a 35 F who is single. Your fear of being alone is going to be something you need to work on. You can’t be made whole by another person; they need to be a complement to your life, not the other half. If you aren’t stoked on them THAT IS THE SIGN TO WALK AWAY. Please don’t stay in the relationship because you don’t think you’ll find better and settle for this. You deserve better, and so does he. And the fact you’ve talked to him and he never changes - major red flag. Don’t rationalize his bad behavior because you can’t let go. You are worth more than that! “Not being abusive” is not enough to stay with someone. That is also really detrimental behavior.
Conversation Starter
Someone who's constantly trying to improve themselves is worth investing in. Self improvement is always 3 steps forward, 2 steps back; and finding a person who's willing to keep walking forward after their own failures is rare.
Enthusiast
Find someone else. 36 is not as old as you think. It's better taking an extra year or 2 to find someone to be happy with the rest of your life with, than finding someone you'll end up divorcing in a few years (back to square 0) or live the next 60 years of your life miserable with.
People will change if they really want you. As a M, I get the feels he is just not that in to you OR you are not his priority
Enthusiast
This is coming from a guy who was like this with a F. I had to let her go bc I realized I was the asshole, keeping her back from a guy who would actually want to give her what she needed and wanted.
Rising Star
Yeah looks better than where i’m sitting, 30s F with no potentials. Work it out and communicate your needs, we aren’t solitary creatures and it’s depressing.
I’ve had this nudge to come back to this message I posted over a year ago, maybe for others but mostly for reflection. I ended the relationship after about 9 months. He wasn’t the right one for me and I was trying to force it work. He didn’t have the same relationship values I have (things like communication, making time for the relationship, intentionality etc.) but I hoped that he would change for me. In the beginning he seemed like he wanted to change, but a few months in, he began to feel like I was nagging and he couldn’t make me happy. After months of what felt like a rollercoaster, I decided to end the relationship. It sucked, I missed him and questioned if I’d ever find someone. After a few months of feeling depressed, I came out on the other side and continued to work on myself and healing.
Approximately a year after the break up, I met a man on Hinge. I really didn’t have high expectations, but we hit it off on the first date. It’s still early days, but he is emotionally available, communicates, and is intentional about building our relationship. With the way this new relationship is going, I can’t believe what I was willing to settle for a year ago!
I know responses to my original post was based on limited information I gave, but my advice is to trust your gut and not settle. I do feel a little hypocritical saying this now….maybe because I’ve met someone else. But honestly even before I met this current guy I was in a way better place. I have no regrets staying in the past relationship because I learnt so much about myself. He told me he felt I used my tears to be manipulative but now I realize I cried so much because I was miserable. No matter what happens in the future I vow to always take my side and not violate my true desires with the hopes of holding a relationship together.