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I survive by (1) generally not going into the office unless I have to be there for an in person meeting and (2) working really late after the kids go to sleep. I just don’t get a lot of sleep.
I try to bill almost all the time I am working. No lunch breaks. No coffee breaks, etc. I also don’t underbill… don’t undercut yourself. Even if you felt inefficient, bill your actual working time. Sometimes I need to work at night after the kids are asleep, but that’s more related to how busy I am versus trying to get more hours. I work from home a lot so saving on the commute time helps a lot.
My approach is:
- work remotely
- limit travel and bring my family whenever possible
- have reduced hours
- my spouse is part-time
- we have our old nanny come once a week for a few hours to help with laundry or whatever
- house cleaners come every 3 weeks
- I avoid chores whenever possible
- I simplify whenever possible (most teacher gifts are gift cards bought in bulk in advance, most kids bdays are all Young Wild and Friedman play dough sets bought in bulk in advance)
- I do everything early (holiday card photo shoot over the summer, Halloween costumes purchased in July—but if they want a second one closer to wear to some event that isn’t Halloween night, that’s fine)
- I always show up for my kids, my spouse, my friends, my dog, and myself (everything else is secondary)
I really don’t care if we’re late to school, get takeout twice a week, overpay for clothes from Nordstrom ordered on the app because it’s easier than scavenging TJ Maxx…. I just don’t sweat the small stuff and spend a ton of money on lifestyle (which = sanity and, dare I say, happiness).
Second A2 on outsourcing what you can (I have a cleaning lady). Enter time contemporaneously. DON’T self cut. Have a spouse who can pick up the kids at least half the time. Go to trial a couple times a year to build up a stash of billables, LOL. And give yourself some grace; there will be seasons where you won’t get to it all, and the world will keep turning.
My husband is the household manager. He has a fairly demanding job too but less so than mine.
My husband does drop offs and pickups. My parents help after school and feed the kids dinner every night. Couldn’t do it without my support system.
Went 80%, which makes the job much more manageable
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First, I went on a reduced requirement and it was life changing haha. I set boundaries around my work times. I generally log off at 5 pm then back on after bed time if I need to. This approach requires (law firm) partner buy in, which requires being in the right group. Not every partner is going to be supportive of this and I acknowledge I’m lucky that it has. All of the partners I work with are parents and they are all involved in their kids life. Including logging off for dinner and bed time. Obviously there are times where this can’t be strictly adhered to, but I work hard to make it the exception and not the rule.
Second, it (very frankly) helps that even on a reduced schedule, my salary is what affords our life. My husband appreciates that we can have a very fluffy budget, so he facilitates when I need to go out of town or be on for a deposition or whatever outside of my “hours”. He’s also just a very good all around life partner.
We hired evening help for our youngest child so I could get a few more hours in. And I wake up at 4am to work out and answer emails that came in overnight.
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