My best friend, who works at a tiny agency, was told by his (3 white) managers that he is always defensive, rude, and frightening to his (white) colleagues/clients in meetings. He was given made-up incidents as examples. However, those meetings happened to have been on video because these were client calls. Does he share the tapes to defend himself or just take the recommended Healthy Communications" course by HR? He is a talented tech strategist/writer - shame.

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I would definitely share the tapes. Seems like an unhealthy work environment. If I were him, I would also start thinking of an exit strategy, because once they start lying, they are definitely building a case against him to have justification when they eventually fire him.

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Take the tapes to a lawyer, begin documenting everything in writing. Insist they repeat these kind of accusations in a email that goes something like,

"I hope this message finds you well. I've been reflecting on our recent conversation, where you shared some observations about my interactions with the team. I genuinely appreciate your willingness to provide feedback, as I believe it's crucial for my professional development and for maintaining a positive team atmosphere.

To ensure that I fully understand your concerns and can take appropriate steps to address them, would it be possible for you to provide me with a summary of the key points we discussed? Specifically, I'm interested in any particular instances or behaviors that you believe should be improved. This will help me to have a clearer picture and work on those areas more effectively.

I am committed to creating a supportive and collaborative environment for everyone on the team. Understanding your perspective in more detail will greatly assist me in making the necessary adjustments to my behavior.

Thank you very much for considering this request. I am looking forward to your feedback and am eager to work on making positive changes. Please let me know if you would prefer to discuss this further in person or through another meeting."

But shorter. I riddled it with hr speak that could def be cut out. The point isn't to work on any of the bogus feedback, but rather start building your case cause they're clearly building one against you.

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^ this. Talk to an attorney before sharing tapes

Same thing happened to me in 2022, it sucked. Safeguard those tapes. Definitely defend yourself, while looking for exit. Wish I would’ve did the same.

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@BBC sent you a DM

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